


A Blue Million Miles

by miera



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Everybody Lives, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Tommy Merlyn is Alive, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-25
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2018-04-11 02:54:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 27,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4418342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miera/pseuds/miera
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All the members of Team Arrow have secrets. But there are secrets and there are secrets, and Felicity is keeping one that could destroy the fragile trust between her and her teammates just as they're closing in on the person behind the Undertaking. This story begins in episode 20 of season 1, "Home Invasion."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work-in-progress and I do not have a clear idea of where it is going in the end, so I can't guarantee regular updates. I'm attempting to get the muse back to writing something, one way or another. 
> 
> Title is from Joan Osborne's [His Eyes Are A Blue Million Miles.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hi0RzEt_pQc)
> 
> (I've finally created a Tumblr account: [mierac](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mierac) )

"The world is dangerous, baby girl," her mother always told her. "Humans are the most dangerous creatures on earth, never forget that."

Felicity never forgot her mother's rules. And in her entire life she never broke any of them, until she met Oliver Queen.

_"Rule 1: Never let anyone see you._  
_Rule 2: Never tell anyone._  
 _Rule 3: Don't trust anyone but us."_

Felicity lived her life by those rules, but then she found Oliver bleeding in her backseat, and in the course of a night became involved in his crusade. She thought she could handle it. She set her limits, enforced her boundaries immediately, and Oliver seemed to respect that. There were a couple near-misses but she had things under control.

Until the night she was sitting in the back of a van, listening to Oliver getting his ass handed to him by a bunch of Triad thugs. With Digg gone, Oliver had no back up, and when she called his name and got no answer, she had no choice.

She opened the door on the back of the van and broke one of her mother's rules for the first time.

 

*~*~*~*~*

_Get up. Get up. Get up. Get up._

The words echoed in Oliver's head. He had to get up. He had to get back in the fight. But his battered body wasn't responding and his head was spinning with yet another concussion.

_Get up. Get up. Get up. Get up._

"Oliver?" That wasn't in his head, it was in his ear?

Felicity.

Adrenaline flooded his system. Felicity was nearby, in the van. He had to keep her safe. He couldn't do that if he didn't get up.

He got a fist underneath his torso and rolled away from the man beating on him. One leg kicked out and took the guy out, but he crashed down right on top of Oliver. He grunted, pain flaring through his bruised side badly enough to steal his breath for a moment. But there were four more goons to fight. Oliver blinked, trying to steady the tilting of his vison.

Then he heard it, off to his left. A low, angry sound - a snarl that made the hair on the back of his neck stand up. It was definitely an animal of some kind. The Triad gang members heard it too, looking into the shadows until the thing emerged.

It was a dog of some kind. A huge one, with dark fur and bright eyes, stalking out of the shadow of a shipping crate with its teeth bared.

For a moment nobody moved, not sure how to react to the intrusion of a stray animal, especially one that seemed pretty pissed off. Then one of the Triad guys lifted his gun, like he was going to shoot the dog. The animal snapped out a sharp bark and jumped across the distance, teeth latching on to the man's arm and tearing a scream out of him as his flesh was shredded by the massive jaws.

Oliver was temporarily forgotten and he watched, not quite sure he wasn't hallucinating after too many blows to the head, as the giant dog faced off with the Triad. They tried to shoot it, but it dodged and pounced much too fast for them. One guy picked up a length of metal pipe and took a swing. The dog caught the pipe in its mouth and then shoved the guy back hard enough for him to stumble and crack his head against the pavement. The last guy went down as the dog leapt onto his back.

Oliver realized that he was now the only one still conscious and if he couldn't get off his ass to deal with some lowlife gang members, a rabid dog was going to overwhelm him easily. Then the dog turned and stared straight at him and his pulse jumped.

_That's not a dog. That's a wolf._

The massive beast met his eyes and stood there, unmoving, for a long moment. Oliver knew he should back up or try to run before the wolf decided he was next but he was frozen. The wolf's eyes were so bright, so strange. He'd never seen anything like it.

The approaching wail of a siren broke the moment and the wolf huffed and took off back into the darkness where it had come from. Oliver took a deep, painful breath of relief before realizing the animal had headed in the direction of the van. He rolled and got his hands under him so he could get up but one of his arms gave out. He was bleeding pretty heavily.

"Oliver!" Felicity ran up to him and his head snapped up, spiking the dizziness again, but she shouldn't be out here, not with the Triad and fucking wild animals running around. He couldn't do anything but mumble her name, though. "Are you all right? Come on, the police are coming, we have to go!"

She hauled him up from the ground, wrapping an arm around his waist and guiding him to the van. Later he thought she must have been full of adrenaline to lift him up like that, but he didn't say anything. She was grim-faced as she looked at his injuries once they were safely back in the foundry, and he saw blood smeared on her neck and her shirt. He must have gotten it on her skin while she helped him into the van, which made him feel guilty, so he refrained from reprimanding her for leaving the safety of the van.

It was only much, much later that Oliver realized she never asked him how he got out of the 5 against 1 fight, or what the angry animal noises on the comms had been from.


	2. Taste of Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity patches Oliver's injuries up in the foundry and remembers a particular night from her past.

When Oliver's injuries were bandaged and he had managed to doze off, Felicity finally escaped to the tiny, makeshift bathroom she had insisted he and Digg set up in the basement, because she couldn't code for hours on end and run up stairs every time she needed to pee. Not to mention, Oliver changing into the vigilante suit involved him stripping down to his underwear and it was much less stressful for everyone if he could go behind a door to do that. 

Well, it was less stressful for her. She'd already seen a lot of his body. She didn't need the visual of him in his underwear on top of that. 

She drew in a shaky breath and exhaled, trying to stop the rambling going on in her head and wash the blood off her hands at the same time. It wasn't Oliver's blood, mostly. She had put on a pair of surgical gloves before patching him up. This was the same blood that was splashed across her neck and chin and up her arms. Her shirt was ruined from it. 

She grabbed a washcloth and started scrubbing at her skin. Oliver hadn't asked about the blood or anything else, and she had kept her tongue compressed painfully between her teeth to keep from blurting out anything. It was better if he didn't ask. Safer for them both. It kept her from having to try to lie to his face. 

She rubbed the washcloth harshly until every bit of blood was gone. She rinsed it out and hung it back on the plastic stick-on hook that served as a towel holder. She finally met her own gaze in the mirror and swallowed.

She could still taste the blood in her mouth. Tension thrummed through her body, memories flooding her. The last time she had tasted human blood was nearly ten years ago. 

_Donna drove them out into the Nevada desert as the sun set the night of the full moon, just as she did every month. Felicity was barely 16 and had only been fully shifting for two years. Werewolves, it turned out, often experienced delayed onset of puberty, which was not something Felicity needed on top of her glasses and her IQ as an awkward adolescent. It didn't help that when puberty finally arrived, her body didn't exactly blossom into the replica of her mother she might have (sort of) hoped for. Adjusting to being a fully-fledged werewolf was just another burden to bear._

_Twenty-four nights wasn't a lot of time in the grand scheme of things. She still struggled for balance between the wolf's instincts and her human mind whenever she shifted, and the night of the full moon was the night when the wolf was strongest._

_That night had been perfect, though. In the midwinter the desert got very cold at night, which was fine for someone with a thick coat of fur. When the moon was up and she and her mother slipped out through the rocks and into the wilderness, Felicity had just started running, her mother not far behind her. Her human side relaxed and let the wolf fly across the rocks, free and easy, chasing down scents and leaping up and over boulders effortlessly. The cloudless sky allowed the full moon to illuminate everything to her sharpened eyes, which had no need of corrective lenses in this form. She threw her head back and howled at the moon, her human self laughing at the cliché._

_But her exuberance had cost them. She ran and ran, ignoring the warning sounds coming from her mother, until she realized they had strayed close to a ramshackle trailer. A dog was chained up outside and barking furiously at them. Felicity halted, trying to backpedal, but a bright beam of artificial light spilled into the yard as the door to the trailer opened._

_A man came running down the steps, holding a shotgun he was already raising toward her. Felicity froze, stunned by the abrupt turn of so much joy to danger, and the fact that a human was looking straight at her in wolf form._

_Her mother slammed into Felicity, knocking her aside, so the shotgun blast hit Donna in the side rather than finding Felicity's head. The second round missed them both, but Felicity turned from the sight of her mother bleeding on the rocks and felt rage overtake her. The man had hurt her mother - her blood - and the wolf, already dominant that night, launched herself into the air in a blur of snarling teeth that Felicity could not stop._

_She had torn at the man's arm deeply with her fangs, causing him to drop the weapon and knocking him to the ground. Her mouth filled with his blood and his scream of pain pleased the predator in her. She landed and turned around, preparing for another pounce, prepared to kill, but her mother's sharp bark of reprimand broke through the rage. Donna deliberately turned her back on the man and his frantic pet dog and began to limp away into the night. Felicity forced herself to follow._

A clatter and Oliver's voice hesitantly calling her name broke Felicity out of the memory. She swiped her wet hands on the towel and hurried back out to the main room of the basement. Oliver was sitting upright and fumbling with the gray hoodie that had been hanging over a chair. He looked sheepish. "I'm a little cold."

"Oh, right." She came over and helped him pulled the jacket on carefully, so as not to disturb the bandages she had put on his arm. He couldn't bend his wrist to close it so she reached over and zipped it up, mindful as always of his scent although she was careful not to let it show. Oliver smelled different than anyone else. Everyone smelled unique to her heightened senses, of course, but Oliver was different, even from Digg. She put that thought aside as his ridiculous six pack and broad chest were hidden from her view. "Come on, lie back down. You should try to sleep a bit." 

He complied, but he grumbled. "Pretty sure I have a concussion."

She put a gentle hand on his shoulder. "I know. I'll stay, wake you up in a couple hours and check you out. I meant check on you, on your head." She stopped before she could comment on the fact that even his damn head was attractive, which it was. More than once she'd pictured her fingernails digging into his hair, and she really needed to not think about that right now. 

He patted her hand, blissfully unaware of where her mind had gone. "Thanks. I'm sorry to keep you up." 

"I've pulled all-nighters for stupider reasons, don't worry," she told him lightly, earning herself that tiny half-smile Oliver only ever seemed to do for her. It soothed her enough to move over to her computers and sit down. She checked her alerts but there was nothing new to report, and by the time she was done, Oliver's even breathing suggested he'd fallen asleep. 

She slipped off her shoes despite the cold floor and padded back to the bathroom, where she grabbed the tube of toothpaste Oliver kept there. She had no toothbrush so she put some of the paste on her finger and stuck it in her mouth, using her finger and tongue to spread the minty gel around until she couldn't taste anything else. 

Since that night in the desert, Felicity had never attacked another human being. On full moon nights, she wanted to avoid human contact as much as possible anyway, and since she had been alone whenever she shifted, she didn't have the worry of protecting anyone else. 

Until tonight. 

She went back to her chair, her gaze lingering on Oliver. One time, she told herself sternly. She broke the rules just this one time. Tomorrow she would go talk to Digg, try to get him to come back. When Oliver had proper back-up again, she wouldn't have to worry about risking her secret for him. Things could go back to how they had been for the last few months, with Felicity discreetly avoiding them on the night of the full moon, until they found Walter and she could go back to her quiet, dull life of IT problems, ice cream and keeping to herself.


	3. Second Domino

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During 1.21, "The Undertaking," Felicity is this close to finishing what she set out to do with Oliver and Digg and going back to her boring life. Fate has other plans.

The problem with breaking rules was that once you started, it was hard to stop. 

In all the years since leaving Vegas, she had only ever been tempted to spill her secret to another person once. She hadn't, but now that she had let Oliver see her, even if he didn't know it was her, she was already starting to rationalize reasons for telling him. Which was a terrible idea. Her life and her mother's life were both in the balance here. She had to keep a cool head.

Which was why she had not blurted out "Would you knock off the overprotective glowering, I'm a freaking werewolf!" when Oliver had tried to tell her she couldn't go undercover in the casino. It was a good thing that he saw her as the nerdy IT girl who needed protecting, she reminded herself. It was better for them both that he had no idea of her secret.

She blamed adrenaline for the temptation to tell him. Months of searching and this was the first time they had a solid lead that could tell them what happened to Walter. The excitement went to her head, that was the problem. She was not going to make breaking her mother's rules a habit. She was able to fall back on her Vegas card counting days and general stubbornness to convince Oliver to let her go. 

And she had noticed the little flare of tension that went through him when she got up and got into his personal space and challenged him, so she used that against him too. It had happened the first night she had been volunteering her services after saving his life. Oliver had tried to physically intimidate her by getting right into her space and she pushed right back at him. Practically nose to nose, she had seen his eyes grow hot for a second before the mask came down. He wasn't used to being challenged, especially by women, she thought, not women who he viewed as being so vulnerable. But she knew, somehow, that he respected her for doing it.

That he had said "we" about him and her going on this mission, well, she was going to pretend that she hadn't felt anything about that at all. Because she had set limits on how much she was willing to do for him, and if everything went well, she was about to reach that goal and find her boss, or at least learn what happened to him, and it would be over. Disappointment surged at the thought but she pushed it back. It had to be this way. She'd already come too close to exposing herself (not in the nudity sense, thank God, that was something she would not be able to come back from) and her secret. The risk was too much.

Unfortunately, she knew she wouldn't be able to leave Oliver even if they miraculously found Walter alive and safe tonight, because of how things were with Digg. Her plan had been to help find Walter and vamoose, but if she left now, Oliver would be alone again. In the last few months she had noticed the way he was changing. He probably didn't know it himself, but the man she had originally met, and even the vigilante she started working with, had barely cracked a smile. Now he would on very rare occasions actually make jokes. He looked better now, not physically because physically he was pretty much human perfection, but his eyes weren't so haunted and his jawline wasn't constantly clenched any more. 

And if she left him alone, all of that would go away, she was sure of it.

But Digg, when she talked to him that afternoon, was being as much of a stubborn ass as Oliver. Ugh. Men. 

Well, one problem at a time. She checked her makeup and hair one last time in her bathroom mirror. She had pulled her hair all over to one side, to better hide the earbud Oliver insisted she wear. The dress was one she had bought after going to the charity auction where the Dodger had shown up. Once the panic over nearly being decapitated had faded, she realized going undercover in Oliver Queen's world was going to require leveling up her wardrobe. 

Great. Now she was referring to Oliver by his full name too. Rolling her eyes at herself, she gathered her things and left the apartment. 

Her nerves started to set in as they drove to the casino. Sneaking into illegal casinos wasn't really on her list of life goals, and there were going to be a lot of big guys and guns. And she was going to deliberately get herself into trouble. Not "bomb collar" trouble or even "my friend's psycho ex girlfriend tied me up" trouble but a gun pointed at her face. 

It was possible the wolf could come out if she was directly threatened. Felicity had learned self-control as a teenager. Because she could shift at will, she had learned not to let emotions break her control. But that kind of immediate danger was the kind of thing the wolf was going to react to whether it was safe or not. 

Oliver, thankfully, took her nerves for general anxiety. She drew in a deep breath, inhaling his unique scent and letting it calm her, before turning to walk to the door alone. She could do this. And once she was inside and focused on the game - cards and numbers and straight up math, exactly where she _lived_ \- she relaxed. 

If she had been doing this for fun, she would've lost more, to make it less obvious what she was doing, but now she was supposed to get caught. It worked. The whole plan worked almost perfectly, except that Alonzo took her earbud out, which was bad for him, because if he had just sent her on her way, his casino wouldn't have gotten wrecked by an angry vigilante coming to find her. Werewolf pride warred with the warm feeling in her chest brought on by Oliver fighting his way through a platoon of heavily armed men just to get to her. Something else she was going to have to work on not dwelling on later.

Then again, Oliver bursting in saved them some time, as Alonzo told them the thing she had been dreading to learn. They were too late, way too late. Walter was dead. It was over.

Oliver knocked Alonzo to the ground and pushed his hood back, his face grief-stricken. Felicity wanted to reach for him, her own eyes watering with tears. But the door banged and she yelled "Look out!" as Oliver pivoted, moving his body in front of her and bringing his bow up at the same time. He grabbed an arrow, aimed and fired in a lightning fast motion at the thug who was coming into the room gun blazing, but it wasn't quite fast enough. Felicity felt a sharp sting in her neck even as she was crouching down behind the desk. 

Oliver turned from ensuring the man was dead and froze as he looked at her. Felicity looked down at her hand. It was covered in blood. A lot of blood. The bullet had hit something major. There wasn't going to be time for bandages or a hospital. 

She looked up at Oliver, who was yelling her name as he reached out to her. His blue eyes were wide and terrified but there was no time to tell him to leave, no way to get to privacy.

There was only one way for her to stay alive now.

"Oh frack," she mumbled. 

Then she crouched down on the floor and let the wolf take control.


	4. No More Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver reacts to Felicity's secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was delayed. I had a feeling the scene wasn't quite right but it took a few days to figure out how to fix it.

Oliver had seen a lot of things in the last five years that could not be explained. 

This, though, trumped them all easily.

At first he was terrified Felicity was having a seizure. The bullet had nicked a major blood vessel in her neck based on the amount of blood he could see. When she collapsed to the floor all he could think was that he was going to watch her stroke out in front of him, rather than watching her bleed to death.

But as he attempted to reach down to help her, the long strands of blonde hair disappeared under his gloved hand. He jerked back, watching as dark, thick hair replaced it. Her arms were contorting and sprouting that same dark hair and her fingers were... disappearing? Like they were melting into her bones.

Felicity was grunting in pain, the noises becoming less her - less _human_ \- until Oliver took a step backward trying to process what he was seeing.

There was a large dog, no wolf, lying on the floor. The wolf that had saved him from the Triad the other night. It was right there, where a minute ago his babbling, nerdy IT genius had been. 

Some corner of his brain protested that this was just too much. There were only so many shocks one person could take in a lifetime and Oliver had just gotten smacked by two big ones inside of two minutes and it just was too fucking much to take. 

But there were noises outside the door, and the distant sound of sirens. He drew in a breath through his nose and forced his emotions aside. Whatever this meant, he had to get himself and Felicity out of here.

The wolf didn't appear able to stand on her own. He glanced around the room and found a trenchcoat, which he threw over her. The pretty red dress was in shreds underneath her body, along with her panties. Oliver clenched his teeth. He really did not need to know that Felicity owned a red thong, but that was so low on his list of things he didn't want to know right now that it barely rated. He gathered up the wrecked clothing, her jewelry, and her purse, tossing it on top of the wolf's stomach. She let out a noise that sounded almost annoyed, but there was no time to lose now.

He bent and picked the animal up, huffing as he did so. "How are you this heavy?" he mumbled. It seemed impossible that tiny Felicity could weigh this much.

_More impossible than Felicity being a werewolf?_ a voice in his head that sounded a lot like Felicity's asked. 

The coat mostly concealed her. Oliver picked his way through the building, out the backdoor and around to the van. Luck was with them and he got both of them back to Verdant and into the lair without anyone seeing them.

He stowed his bow and quiver and approached the wolf, lying quietly on the metal table they used for medical care. The bright blue eyes were disconcerting looking up at him from the animal's face. He wasn't sure how much she could understand, but he gestured. "I'm going to check the wound, ok?"

The wolf rolled a bit to the side, exposing her neck to give him access to where there was some dried blood caked in the fur. That seemed to settle the question of whether she understood human speech. He grabbed some supplies but as he examined her injury, he realized the torn flesh from the bullet hole had already closed over and was healing on its own. He cleaned the area but there didn't seem to be a need to do much else.

That must have been why she did it. In this, well, form, she could heal much faster. There wouldn't have been time to get her to a hospital before she'd lost too much blood. His fist clenched involuntarily, remembering the seconds of panic as he feared he was about to watch her die right in front of him because he failed to protect her. 

He jumped when the wolf's muzzle touched his fist. She let out a low whine and Oliver instinctively put his hand on the top of her head. Reality came back to him. He was touching Felicity, who was a werewolf, and patting her on the head like she was a dog. He lifted his hand away and drew back. "It looks like it's almost healed. I'm... going to go change."

She huffed and put her head down on her paws.

Oliver closed his eyes briefly. This might just be the weirdest night of his life. Which was saying something.

He changed on autopilot, cleaning the green paint from his face and putting on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. His mind was reviewing the last couple of hours. Walter was dead. That shock had been subsumed in the more immediate one, but it had to be dealt with. His heart sank. He had to tell his mother and Thea. They deserved to know. 

But Walter had been dead for months. Telling them could wait a few minutes while he talked to Felicity. That she had been hiding a secret this big, one that could jeopardize everything while he had no clue it was there, worried him. Felicity did not strike him as a very good liar. If he had misread her character that completely, what else was he wrong about? 

He did a double take on finding his human Felicity sitting on the med table when he returned. A naked one. Which made sense; her clothes were in pieces. She had wrapped the scratchy blanket around herself, leaving one shoulder bare, and was drinking a bottle of water. He watched the emotions flashing across her face as she saw him - guilt, apprehension and fear. A lot of fear. She bit her lower lip and for a long minute they just stared at each other.

A thousand questions were going through his mind but Oliver settled on the most immediate one. "Are you okay?" There was some blood still on her shoulder and neck but there was nothing left of the bullet wound but a red mark on her skin.

She gaped at him silently, which was very not like her. "Felicity?"

She let out a deep breath. "Yeah. Yes. I'm okay. Sorry, that was just not the first question I expected from you right now. I thought it'd be more like 'You're a werewolf, what the hell?' you know?"

"Yeah, well, that was next on the list," he muttered. 

She flinched and there was an uncomfortable silence between them. Oliver took a deep breath, trying to get a handle on the emotions churning in his gut. Felicity just watched him, her hands clutching the blanket so tightly her knuckles were turning white. He didn't know what to say so he latched on to the most familiar emotion running through him: anger.

"Why didn't you tell me?" 

She glared. "Really? That's the argument you picked?"

"Felicity," he growled but she hopped down from the table and got into his personal space, her blue eyes boring into his.

"No. No, Oliver. You don't get to be all high and mighty on this one. Were you ever going to tell me your secret?"

"That's different-" he started reflexively, but she talked right over him.

"It is not. If you had had any other choice that night, would you have told me about this?" She gestured to the lair. "No. You and I both know that. As long as I was helping you and not asking you too many questions, you would've kept going as long as you needed me, keeping me in the dark about why."

"Because I was trying to keep you safe!" he burst out. "As soon as I brought you into this, I put you in danger. Telling you the whole truth made it even worse. It was safer for you not to know about this."

"Well it was safer for me for you not to know about my secret too," she snapped. "But like you, I didn't really have a choice." 

His anger slipped away. Who was he to judge her? He was lying to the people he claimed to love more than anything, and unlike Felicity, he was choosing deliberately to do so. 

She rubbed her forehead. "I know you're angry at me, Oliver, but I need you to promise-"

"I won't tell anyone," he assured her before she could finish. 

She sagged into the table. "Thank you. I'm sorry I'm doing this to you, making you lie about something else, it's just, if the wrong people find out about me, it won't just be me in danger, it'll be my... anyone related to me would be at risk." 

His whole body tensed. "What do you mean, the wrong people?"

"Hunters." She said the word with venom. "Some of them are crackpots who are delusional, but there are some who actually know about us. I keep tabs on some communities online, make sure I know what they're up to, but it's always a danger."

There was something in her voice that chilled him down to the bone. "You've run into them before, haven't you?"

Felicity looked at him and for a long moment there was a silence. She seemed to be weighing something and Oliver wasn't sure what to do so he stayed still until she turned to the side. He was reminded that she was naked underneath the blanket when she pulled part of it back. He got a close up view of her bare hip but his focus shifted from that to the long, thin line running across the small of her back and over her right hip. 

"That's a knife scar," he said, recognizing it immediately. His stomach clenched at the thought of anyone taking a knife to Felicity.

"Silver blade. Turns out the whole 'silver is bad for werewolves' thing is true." She was straining to sound like her normal self but her voice cracked. "Normally nothing leaves a permanent scar but this did." 

She drew the blanket back and folding her arms tightly, drawing in to herself and Oliver decided it was not the right time to ask for that story. Felicity had never asked about his scars. They never seemed to bother her. Now maybe he knew why. 

Searching for something to break the grim silence that had descended, he asked, "So the silver bullet thing is true, but I'm assuming the 'werewolves only change on the night of the full moon' thing isn't? Since tonight isn't a full moon."

"How do you... never mind, of course you know it's not a full moon. A skulking vigilante who hides in the dark shadows would have to keep track of the phases of the moon. Anyway. No, it's not true. Werewolves have to shift on the night of a full moon - but only that night, not the night before and after too. I don't know where that myth came from. Maybe _Buffy_. But females are all able to shift at will. Which made puberty a lot of fun, let me tell you."

"Males can't though?"

"Some can and some can't. I'm not 100% sure why but I think it's probably genetic. Heredity is clearly involved - all of our daughters are always werewolves, but only some of the sons are. But it's kind of hard to do DNA research on something most people think is a myth. The NIH doesn't exactly hand out grants for studies on mythical creatures." 

There was a brief silence. Oliver rubbed his thumb against his forefinger. Despite the shock, he felt more centered hearing Felicity talk - the subject matter might be fantastical but she was still the same Felicity he had gotten to know in the last few months. That was reassuring. But there was a question he had to ask. "Felicity, I need to know if there are any other secrets you're keeping from me." 

"Nope. I mean, there are a lot of things you don't know about me, just because we haven't known each other all that long and you're not the most talkative of people and my babbling can only compensate for that so much-" he shot her a warning look and she veered back on track, "but they're not secrets or anything. This was the big one."

He didn't speak right away. Felicity stood straighter and seemed to be bracing herself. "So am I kicked off of Team Arrow? I know I said I'd only help you until you found..." she closed her eyes briefly, "we found out what happened to Walter, but that was mostly to keep my secret, and now that you know, and with what we've found out about this whole Undertaking thing, it seems like the entire city is in danger, so I want to, you know, keep helping. And I think... you still need me." She said the last part defiantly. 

"Number one, don't call it Team Arrow," he said immediately. That got him a hint of a smile. "And number two, no, you're not off the team we don't call by that name. Because you're right. Whatever is going on in Starling City, I need your help to figure it out." He had noticed how much more effective he and Digg had become once Felicity was helping them regularly. More than that, Oliver felt better having her there. Even when she was getting in his face and arguing with him, Felicity was like a beacon of light down here in the dark, which was more than a bit ironic given what he now knew about her. 

And with Digg gone, he couldn't bring himself to cut Felicity loose. It was selfish, given what happened to her tonight, but he wasn't sure he could convince her to go anyway. 

Felicity's face lit up with relief. "Okay. So now that that's settled, I kind of need some clothes? I don't have extras here and let's face it, there's no way anything of yours is going to remotely fit me well enough to go out in public."

For a second, the vision of Felicity wearing one of his t-shirts - and nothing else - appeared in his head. Oliver resolutely pushed that thought away. "Right. I can run over to your apartment." He grabbed his jacket.

Felicity dug through her purse. "Here, you need my keys."

He took the keychain. "You realize I don't actually need the keys to get through the door right?"

"Yeah, that's not creepy of you. At all."

"You really need to get an alarm system." They'd had this discussion before.

"Yeah, well, how do you think a burglar is going to fare if he breaks into the apartment of a werewolf?" she shot back, grinning at him. 

He blinked. "Okay, fair point. I'll be back soon. You should drink the rest of your water." The image of blood dripping down her neck came back to him and his shoulders tensed up.

"Hey, I'm fine, Oliver." She reached out and put a hand on his arm. "It won't even leave a scar." 

While true, that didn't change that if Felicity had been the normal girl he'd thought she was, she would be dead now, yet another person he had failed. "It was my fault," he said before he could stop and think. Felicity's eyes widened. "I should've made sure the guard was down and not getting back up. If I had, none of this would have happened."

"Maybe," she conceded and he winced. "But maybe not. What I do know is that as soon as you knew there was a threat you were moving to put yourself between me and it. I won't forget that." 

Her hand was warm on his skin and her fingers squeezed slightly as they just stared at each other for a long moment. He appreciated that she wasn't trying to convince him it wasn't his fault or deny that this night could have ended with a catastrophe. But she wasn't going to let him wallow, clearly. He covered her hand with his and squeezed back before moving away and up the stairs. He had to get Felicity some clothes and then head home to deliver the bad news.


	5. Run and Run Down Endless Streets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The third member of Team Arrow learns the truth, and Oliver and Felicity discover something else they have in common.

Oliver seemed a bit calmer by the time he got back with her clothes. Felicity ducked into the tiny bathroom to get dressed in the t-shirt and yoga pants he had brought her. She wasn't thrilled about going both commando and bra-less, especially while on Oliver's motorcycle, but it was a relief to know he hadn't gone pawing through her underwear drawer. Because that would have led to a whole train of inappropriate thoughts and probably babbling that would help neither of them right now.

At least he brought her sneakers.

She stripped out of the clothes again once she was safely locked in her apartment alone. She wanted a very long, very hot shower to wash away the blood and stink of this mess of a night. The bathroom mirror showed a red mark on her neck - she really shouldn't have shifted back so quickly - but makeup could conceal it. 

Clean and dressed she pulled a carton of leftover Chinese food from her fridge and dug in without bothering to heat it up. She turned on the television just for company, checked her tablet, and finally eyed her phone. She wanted to call her mother. Never before in her life had Felicity allowed another person to see her shift into the wolf. Never had she discussed it with anyone voluntarily. She was scared and relieved and sad and a hundred other things, and she wanted to be comforted.

Which was why she wasn't calling. Her mother would freak. Also Felicity couldn't come up with a way to explain everything without giving away Oliver's secret. Her mother would demand to know how she got into a life or death situation in the first place, and how Oliver Queen could possibly have been involved. Or if Felicity told her it was the hooded vigilante, her mom would flip out over Felicity meeting the vigilante and being in danger. In the end it was better for her mom not to know.

But that left Felicity on edge and tossing restlessly in her bed for a couple hours before she gave up. She changed her clothes yet again, which had to be a record for one day, although it was past midnight so she probably could chalk this change up to the next day. In any case, she got dressed and headed back to the foundry. They knew Walter was dead and they knew Alonzo had been responsible for the kidnapping but not who was ultimately behind it. She still had the data from the laptop, though. Maybe she could figure out that last bit of the mystery. It would give Oliver someone to arrow, and maybe give them some closure. 

She found Oliver sitting on the floor in the dark. He was well beyond angry. Felicity had never seen him so enraged. He had gone home and gone to his mother's room to tell her about Walter, only for Moira to charge out of the house. He followed, and learned what Felicity had been coming to the lair to find out.

Malcolm Merlyn had kidnapped Walter. And Walter was still alive. 

Oliver had gone cold and emotionless at the revelation. Felicity didn't try to get him to talk, there was no point. She located the address and ensured he had the voice disguiser and watched anxiously from the basement as he parachuted into Bludhaven. 

And after a brutal, nasty few minutes of Oliver fighting with a coldness and ferocity that scared her more than a little, Walter was safe and on his way home. 

She took a sick day from work. Lack of sleep and the emotional whiplash of the last 12 hours pretty much ensured she would be useless at her desk. She went to Verdant that night though, and bounced up out of her chair in relief when Oliver came downstairs with Digg trailing behind him. Oliver had clearly gone and apologized and the two of them had worked things out but being guys, they wanted to move right to the business of digging into Malcolm Merlyn's plans. 

Felicity was relieved to get to work until she noticed Oliver staring at her. He and Digg were getting ready to spar, but Oliver had paused and just looked at her, then at Digg, then back at her. 

Realizing what he meant, she shook her head and glared.

Oliver glared back.

They argued for the next hour through increasingly aggravated looks until Digg finally frowned. "Okay I know I've been gone for a bit, but do you two need me to give you the room for something?"

She shot up from her chair saying "What, no!" while Oliver simultaneously whipped around to glower. She was sure her entire body was blushing. Digg's eyebrows went up and he looked amused. Damn the man for being so perceptive, and good at needling people. 

"Fine, so someone want to fill me in on whatever I missed here?"

Oliver turned back to her, his expression clearly saying "You know what I think but it's your call." Felicity knew it made sense to tell Digg her secret. But she was still freaked that she had told Oliver at all, and deliberately choosing to tell someone else, even someone she trusted as much as Digg, made panic well up in her chest. 

Oliver busied himself with his bow while Digg just waited her out and finally she sighed. The three of them couldn't be a real team when her and Oliver were keeping something of this magnitude from Digg. 

Twisting her fingers together, she stood up. "Um, okay, there's something I need to tell you." Digg was looking at her expectantly and she just... couldn't do it. The words wouldn't come out. Oliver moved closer to her, his expression sympathetic but she couldn't let him be the one to say it. She owed Digg that much. "Well, maybe showing would be easier than telling."

She started to unbutton her shirt and Digg stood up, reaching a hand out to stop her. "Felicity, wait, no-"

But Oliver stepped forward and put a hand on the other man's shoulder, turning them both to give her privacy. She shucked her clothes quickly and she drew in a deep breath. It was harder to shift without the adrenaline push or the compulsion of the moon and it hurt more, but once the wolf was in control, she sat down and let out a low noise. 

The two men turned around. Oliver was of course calm but Digg stared and then staggered back a couple of steps, his eyes the size of saucers. "Felicity? What? You've got to be kidding me. You're... you're a..."

"Werewolf," Oliver supplied blandly. Felicity snorted. She wouldn't put it past Oliver to get some kind of amusement out of this moment. 

Digg's gaze swung in between them. "You knew about this?" he demanded angrily of Oliver.

Oliver held up a hand and explained the events of the previous night. Digg's heart rate slowed back down a bit and when some of the tension had faded from his body, Felicity moved forward a couple of feet toward them. It wasn't exactly easy to look non-threatening as a wolf, but she kept her head even, her ears and tail down and body at rest, trying to convey calmness. 

Digg's voice was more hesitant than she'd ever heard it. "Felicity? Can you understand me?" She nodded. "So it's really you in there?" Another nod and she barked once, prompting a small half-smile from Oliver. 

Digg rubbed his face with his hand and looked at Oliver. "And I thought your secret was big." 

When she was back to her human self and dressed, Digg started in with the questions. "So were you... have you always been, you know, like this?"

"Yep. Born into it, not turned."

"So that's a real thing?" Oliver asked.

She nodded. "It's possible. I don't know precisely how it works but I do know it has to be deliberate. Any random bite won't turn a person." She winced, remembering the man she had attacked in the desert at 16. Unbeknownst to her mother, she had kept tabs on the guy to ensure her biting him hadn't made him into a werewolf. 

"Felicity also said that silver is dangerous for her," Oliver told Digg. 

"I'm more worried that she's dangerous to us," Digg said. Felicity froze. She should have expected this but the rejection hurt. 

"Diggle," Oliver began but the other man shook his head. 

"No, Oliver, I'm sorry but we need to be realistic about this. We have enough to deal with trying to stop whatever Merlyn is planning. We don't need to be worried that one of our team is going to get hungry and try to make a meal out of one of us or something." 

"Werewolves do not eat people," Felicity snapped before Oliver could respond. "That's a myth. I eat normal human food, just like you do, which you should know after the number of times we've been to Big Belly together."

Digg wasn't amused by her ramble. "And when you're changed?"

She folded her arms across her chest. "I hunt, yes, but I don't kill. I enjoy the chase, but that's it. I certainly don't kill people just because I'm feeling peckish." 

"So you're saying the human side of you is always in control, even when you aren't like this?" he gestured to her human body.

"It's not that simple. The wolf side of me isn't pure animal. It's more instinctive, yes, but it's not wild. It recognizes smells and sounds, people who are familiar to me." Digg didn't look convinced. She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to figure out a way to explain. While she had had some friends and some romantic relationships that were important to her, her bond with Oliver and Digg was different. They were more important to her than anyone, save her mother. The word rose up from the other side of her, resonating in a place deep inside her heart. "You're _pack._ We would never hurt you."

"Pack? As in wolf pack?" Oliver's head was tilted slightly, like he was trying to understand.

Felicity nodded. "You're not family, not _blood_ , but you're not like other people. Not strangers." 

There was brief silence. Oliver gave her a little nod, one of acceptance, and turned to Digg, who still looked overwhelmed. It was their turn to have a silent conversation. Oliver had clearly come to terms with her secret, at least for the moment, while Digg was still unsure. But she knew the discussion was over when Oliver put a hand on Digg's shoulder and said aloud that they had more immediate problems than Felicity's dual personality. 

She stuck her tongue out at the back of Oliver's head for that.

The next several days were full of stress as she hurried to the foundry every night after work as they tried to come up with a plan. It got worse after the confrontation with Moira, which turned into days of fruitlessly trying to hack into the Merlyn Global mainframe, culminating with her life of crime reaching a new level with B&E.

And nearly getting caught and blowing the whole thing.

When the guard grabbed her arm, Felicity had snarled at him, baring her teeth. Her heart was pounding and her self-preservation instinct was screaming that she needed to get out, she needed distance, she needed to run. She was a heartbeat away from ripping herself free when Digg rounded the corner and rescued her. 

She hadn't come that close to losing control of herself in years. _This is too dangerous,_ her rational mind insisted as she made her way back to Verdant. _Too many risks, too many dangers, you can't keep doing this._

But she couldn't stop now. There were thousands of lives at stake. All the people in the Glades were in danger because of Malcolm Merlyn. He had to be stopped. She couldn't turn her back on that, not even to save herself.

A few deep breaths allowed her to get control of the shaking in her limbs, at least enough to get to the lair and start working on the files she had copied from the mainframe. When Digg arrived she took a few minutes to go change into her regular clothes, but it wasn't enough. She didn't want to be in the basement, trapped under metal and concrete. She didn't want people in her space. Not even Digg or Oliver. There was only one way to cope with this. 

She was able to concentrate long enough to get her custom decryption program working on the downloaded data and sorting it into something meaningful, but her attention span was deteriorating. Her entire body was itching and she was unaware of swinging her seat back and forth rapidly until she jerked to a halt.

"Felicity? Are you okay?"

Oliver had been pacing while she worked, but now he had a hand on the back of the chair and was looking at her worriedly.

"I'm fine," she told him automatically. 

"No you're not," he contradicted, sparking her temper.

Digg was leaning against a table, studying them both. "He's right. You look like you're about to crawl out of your skin. Literally."

She huffed out a breath, not grateful that Digg's sense of humor was reasserting itself when it came to her werewolf side, and finished typing. "I'm fine, I just need to finish this. And go out."

"Out?" Oliver's skepticism was palpable.

She set the program and turned the chair so that she could stand and duck out from the claustrophobic space between the two men. "I need to go for a run, that's all."

She grabbed her purse and coat but Digg had stood up and he and Oliver were now moving in unison to follow her. "Why do I think you're not heading for the gym and a treadmill?" Digg asked rhetorically.

Oliver was giving her what she'd dubbed his protective glare. "Felicity, you can't go running around Starling City as a wolf. It's too dangerous."

She let out a sharp laugh. "You really think it would be the first time? I've been living here for years. I can take care of myself." 

But Oliver had closed the distance between them. "By doing what? Skulking along in the shadows and hoping nobody mistakes you for a stray and shoots you?" 

"Oliver-"

"Felicity," he got all the way into her space, just short of looming, but his voice had dropped lower instead of getting more angry, which was a thousand times more effective. "You need to let it out. I understand. But if you're going to do this it should actually help you, not leave you just as stressed out." 

She had witnessed first-hand Oliver's methods for coping with stress and anxiety. Usually it left broken training dummies and pieces of wood strewn on the floor of the foundry. It was true - if anyone was going to understand the itch under her skin and the need to escape the walls that felt like they were smothering her, it was Oliver. 

She sighed. "I know. Usually I go out to the state park, but the program will finish in a few hours, so there's not enough time to drive there and back. I'll manage."

"What about the Queen estate?" Digg suggested.

Oliver immediately jumped on the idea. "He's right. There's hundreds of acres of woods, completely private, and the perimeter is fenced."

"I'm not going to run off and get lost, you know. I've got a pretty good sense of direction." 

"I was thinking more that nobody could get in unnoticed and see you," Oliver said, matching the hint of annoyance in her voice. He put a hand on her shoulder, which for some reason didn't bother her even though she could still feel the wolf demanding escape inside of her. "Come on. We can get there in half an hour."

"I'll stay here, keep an eye on things," Digg offered. 

Felicity hesitated. It was one thing for the two of them to know abstractly that she was going to go shift into a werewolf while far away from them both and another thing entirely for Oliver to be there through the whole thing, but it would look super weird for her to show up at his house without him. And damn the man but he was right. Slinking down smelly alleyways in the city wasn't going to calm her down enough. She needed open air and freedom to run. 

Oliver was holding his coat, waiting for her. Felicity swallowed hard and headed for the stairs. She paused half-way up. "I'm driving myself. No way am I getting on that motorcycle right now. I'd end up with my nails digging into you and not in a fun way. I mean if you're into that, no judging but with all the scars you probably wouldn't want more of them and-"

" _Felicity_." 

"Damn it. Shutting up now." She was just going to have to keep her mouth sealed until she was safely transformed and couldn't humiliate herself by babbling anything else tonight.


	6. In the Watches of the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver gets a closer look at Felicity's other side and has a night to think about things. This chapter takes place near the end of "Darkness on the Edge of Town."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may have noticed I started tweaking events in "Darkness on the Edge of Town" more seriously with the previous chapter. There were a few things that happened on the show in that episode that never made sense to me so I'm taking the liberty of altering them.

Oliver drove his bike back home, Felicity following him in her tiny car. She was already bouncing off the walls. Being cooped up in her car - pun intended - with him the whole drive wasn't going to help. 

He was ashamed of himself that he hadn't noticed the state Felicity was in right away. The confrontation with Tommy, who was being a complete fucking idiot about Laurel, and then seeing Malcolm Merlyn and having to keep up the façade while knowing the man had been planning to commit mass murder for five years, had shaken Oliver's control. And that wasn't factoring in seeing Thea and that wannabe-tough guy boyfriend of hers lurking around Merlyn Global. 

His head had been spinning while he paced the foundry until he finally noticed that Digg was staring worriedly at Felicity. Oliver took in the tension radiating from her body, the tremble in her shoulders and the way she was violently snapping her chair back and forth and realized something was very wrong. 

She was on the verge of bolting. Oliver could practically feel her desire to run away from them. He'd felt the same way plenty of times, after all. Felicity didn't have the salmon ladder or hand to hand combat to calm her down, but he could at least help her get some peace of mind. And they were going to need her to have her head in the game to stop the Undertaking, so he immediately took Digg's suggestion about bringing Felicity to the mansion. 

They had come up with a cover story about his home computer and Felicity offering to help him just in case anyone asked, but the house was quiet when they arrived. The sun was down and it was past dinner time. Thea was out and his mother was locked away in her room. 

They made their way out to the back of the house and down the sloping lawn to the gazebo. Oliver was acting nonchalant, like he was just showing her around, but Felicity was twisting her hands together so hard his own fingers ached from watching her. 

Oliver positioned himself so that he could see the house, waiting until one of Digg's security guys did his walk around the back perimeter of the building. He looked in Oliver's direction, nodded slightly and kept going. Once he was around the far side of the house, Oliver turned to Felicity. "You've got about twenty minutes before he comes back." 

She nodded jerkily and stood up, already unbuttoning her coat. "You're sure nobody's going to see us from the house?"

"It's dark enough that it would be hard to make anything out," he reassured her. 

"Thank God the sun is already down. Although that's bad for other reasons."

"Werewolves not a fan of sunlight? I thought that was vampires." For a moment Oliver couldn't believe those words had just come out of his mouth.

Her lips turned up a little. "We can handle sunlight but it is uncomfortable for the wolf. Makes us weaker." 

Oliver filed that fact away along with the tidbit about silver and her nut allergy. Felicity was reaching up to the nape of her neck to unzip her dress and without thinking about it, Oliver stepped closer and helped her. He heard the gasp she let out as his fingers brushed against hers and realized what he was doing could send the wrong signal. It wasn't like he was unaware that Felicity had a bit of a crush on him. He didn't tease her about it, not wanting to be mean, but he usually was careful not to do anything to encourage her.

It was too late now. He lowered the zipper just enough to make it easier for her to get it down the rest of the way, trying to ignore how casually domestic this was. Her ponytail brushed against the back of his hand, teasing his skin lightly, and he caught the scent of her fruity shampoo for a moment. Oliver stepped back and turned away, feigning interest in looking down at the bushes on that side of the gazebo. A minute later he heard a huff of breath and turned back. Her clothes were in a neat pile next to her purse and shoes and the black wolf had already gone down the steps and was looking longingly at the trees.

"Go," he told her.

She took off like a shot, darting away from him so fast she was a blur in the twilight. Oliver watched as she disappeared into the tree line. There were some noises from the woods, birds and other animals disturbed indicating the passage of a larger animal, but soon everything was quiet. 

He waited until the lights went off in the lower portions of the house before slipping back inside. He checked in with Digg, ate some leftovers he pilfered from the fridge, and then grabbed a couple of bottles of water and headed back outside. It was a nice night, not too cold. He settled down on the floor of the gazebo to wait. 

Waiting gave him time to think once again and the uncomfortable truth was Oliver had made a mistake. This whole time he had assumed his father's plea to right his wrongs had been the overall cruelty and misdeeds of the one percenters in Starling against the city. He hadn't given any serious thought to an actual conspiracy. 

If he had done so, if he had started investigating this as soon as he got back, would it have made a difference? 

There wasn't much he could do about that now, other than be more careful in the future. What mattered was stopping Merlyn's plan. Really fulfilling his father's wish. Saving the Glades and everyone in it.

Then what?

Oliver had left Lian Yu expecting to die soon. What he had come back to Starling City to do didn't come with a retirement plan. Knowing that, he had tried to keep his distance from the people he cared about. He had failed at that too, he knew. He couldn't keep Thea at arm's length. Even as angry and disappointed as he was with his mother right now, he still loved her. And now Digg and Felicity had been added to the mix. People he didn't want to leave. People he cared for.

Like Laurel. 

He hadn't expected forgiveness from Laurel. He sure as hell didn't deserve it. But Laurel had somehow found a way to get past what he had done to her. And no matter how hard he tried, Oliver kept being drawn back to her. When she was with Tommy it hadn't mattered, but Tommy had fucked that relationship up, not Oliver. 

If Oliver stopped the Undertaking, and Laurel was free... 

He couldn't bring himself to finish that thought. It seemed to terrifying to have that kind of hope. But the idea of it lingered in his mind as he dozed off for a while.

He woke up and felt his heart jump to his throat as he tried to get his bearings. Alone, outdoors, darkness, trees... was it all a dream? Was he still stuck on the island? He looked up but there were no stars, just wooden beams.

The gazebo. He was outside the house, waiting for Felicity to come back. 

He had just gotten his heart rate back down when a black shape separated itself from the shadows of the trees and moved across the ground toward him. She was moving much more slowly than she had when she left, which was a good sign. He watched as she approached the gazebo and with one elegant move jumped over the steps and landed perfectly on the wooden floor. 

She stared at him, panting lightly. He should have felt uneasy. A huge animal was looking right at him. He had seen the way she took down the Triad enforcers, a blur of teeth and claws that had been scarily efficient. Had that been the wolf side of her? He preferred to think it was so, that his human Felicity wasn't capable of that kind of violence. He knew she had a spine of steel, though. She challenged him often enough for Oliver to recognize that the wolf and the girl were not completely different. If Felicity attacked him right now, he would be in serious danger. 

Despite knowing that intellectually, Oliver simply tilted his head to the side and asked her, "Better?"

She snorted, crossing the distance and stretching out on the floor beside his legs. There was a quarter moon up in the sky now, giving him enough light to look at her. She really was a beautiful creature, sleek limbs and heavy black fur that somehow seemed to fit with the bright blue of her eyes. They weren't the natural eyes of a wolf. Oliver had known that from the first time he saw her transformed. They were beautiful no matter what form she was in.

Without thinking about it, Oliver reached over and touched the top of her head, much like he had the night he had learned her secret, petting her lightly. Her fur was only soft there at the crown of her skull. As soon as he touched her neck it grew thicker and coarse, which made sense. Wolves didn't have soft and cuddly fur.

Felicity snuffled and shifted closer to him, her eyes closing slowly as he ran his hand over the top of her head a few more times. He felt her cold nose brush against his wrist just before she inhaled deeply, making an unexpected shiver run through his body. It seemed almost familiar, her taking in his scent like that. 

_Pack_ , he remembered her saying. The wolf recognized him. He wondered if some part of him had recognized her too, his memory replaying blonde hair, a pink shirt and a red pen.

He drew his hand back and she jumped away as well. Oliver wondered if he had startled her somehow, but she rolled her body, getting back to her feet and backing away from him. Not quite ready to get up, he closed his eyes so that she could change back. When he felt her approach he looked up. "Are you okay?"

She looked tired but far more peaceful now. "Yeah. Thirsty though." He held up the other bottle of water and she rolled her eyes a little before gulping half of it down. Oliver pushed himself to his feet. 

"Thank you for this," Felicity said quietly. 

"You're welcome. Any time." 

She grinned. "Don't tempt me. You've got an absolute infestation of chipmunks back there. Seriously, I lost count, there's so many. Don't worry, they're all unharmed. Well maybe a little freaked out right now. But no chipmunks were harmed this night, not by me anyway." 

Oliver laughed. He actually bent over and just laughed in a way he hadn't done in a long time. How could she be this dangerous, powerful supernatural being and still be so... Felicity?

She looked embarrassed and switched topics, reaching for her purse. "Have you heard from Digg yet?"

The program was still running, so they slipped quietly back to the front of the house. Felicity headed off for home to try to get some sleep. Oliver went to his room and changed his clothes, but he headed out on his bike rather than going to bed. It was nearly sunrise, and even though he was not remotely sure it was a good idea, he drove to Laurel's. He wasn't sure what he was thinking. Showing up at her place at the crack of dawn would be weird. And he didn't know what he even intended to say, but his vigil through the night left him wanting to just see her. 

He arrived on Laurel's street and spotted the door to her apartment building opening. He slowed down and pulled over, thankfully, before he figured out who it was who was coming out the door.

It was Laurel. And Tommy was with her. 

Tommy and Laurel were back together. Or at least talking. Probably more than talking, otherwise they wouldn't be exiting her apartment at this hour of the morning together. 

Oliver waited until they drove off in Tommy's car before he turned the bike around and headed in the other direction.

Anger flooded him. He was too late. Damn it, he was too late. Again. If he had come here last night, if it hadn't been for Felicity-

But he cut that thought off. He couldn't regret helping Felicity last night, not after everything that she had done for him. He knew what it was like to need breathing room. He couldn't regret giving her a few hours of peace and freedom, not even now. 

_You were pissed Tommy for dumping Laurel and hurting her, you don't get to be pissed at him for trying to fix it. Especially after you've told both of them to try._

He drove aimlessly for a bit, confused and uncertain what to do, until his phone rang. It was Diggle. Felicity's programs were finished. 

Oliver turned for the foundry and with effort, pushed everything else from his mind but finding Malcolm Merlyn and stopping him. Everything else was going to have to wait.


	7. Blood Is Running Deep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Undertaking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last update for a bit, as the next chapter is stalled and I'm going on vacation. Hopefully y'all don't hunt me down for this!

Felicity had never felt so helpless in her life, sitting at her computers and watching as people were dying out on the streets as the earthquake rocked Starling City. That the damage would have been worse had she and Lance not shut one of the earthquake devices down did nothing to salve her guilt. The last 24 hours had been like the worst roller coaster in the world. Every time they thought they had figured things out and were victorious, the rug got yanked out from under them. They'd been a step behind Malcolm Merlyn right up until the end. 

She tried to control her sadness and her anger enough to tell Oliver and Digg what was happening. "The damage seems to be contained on the east side, past Paul Street."

Oliver's voice, low and terrified, came over the comm. "Laurel."

Oh God. Laurel's office was in that section of the Glades. She listened as Oliver left Digg to head for his motorcycle. Felicity checked the maps, resolve forming within her. "Oliver, I'm going to meet you there." 

"It's too dangerous," Oliver panted as he ran.

"I'm going to change first," she told him, already pulling at her clothing, knowing he would grasp the double meaning. "I'm closer than you are. And you may need help if anyone is... trapped."

Oliver's silence was his assent. Just before she took her earbud out, she heard Digg's voice. "Be careful, Felicity."

She swallowed hard at the genuine concern in his voice. "I will." 

Once transformed, she slipped out the door and began running through the back alleys, jumping over walls and maneuvering around any obstacle in her path. She didn't bother to hide herself. Everything was in such chaos, nobody was going to notice a dog running wild or have time to look too closely at her. 

She arrived in time to see Laurel run out of the front of the building and regretted her inability to communicate with Oliver. Laurel was okay, she was safe, so was her father. Like every other moment of relief that night, it was short-lived.

Laurel turned back just as CNRI collapsed into rubble. She started to scream, "Tommy!"

Oh no. 

Detective Lance was restraining Laurel. Felicity turned her back and began to circle the perimeter, looking for a way in. Oliver would go in after Tommy no matter what. Her werewolf hearing picked up a motorcycle approaching and she darted into the alley. Oliver saw her immediately, swerving in her direction and then leaping off the bike to follow her inside, Laurel's screaming echoing behind them. 

Fear coiled in her belly as she followed Laurel's scent backward, because she smelled blood. A lot of it. She stopped short of letting Tommy see her but Oliver ran forward, only to discover the worst.

Tommy's first concern was Laurel, then he apologized to Oliver, prompting tears from both men. "I am my father," Tommy confessed.

"No. No you're not," Oliver contradicted, his voice cracking. 

Tommy's heart rate was increasing, his body frantically trying to move blood where it was needed, but unable to keep up because too much of it his blood was no longer in his body. Tommy was dying, and Oliver was watching it happen. The agony radiating off of Oliver was palpable. Felicity felt the pain he was in cut through her sharply. There was nothing he could do to save his best friend.

But there was something she could do.

She had no time to explain that she barely knew how to do this or that it had a low chance of working. She had never come close to attempting this before, but Tommy was seconds away from death and she couldn't stand there and do nothing. 

She scooted up onto the rubble, her muzzle nudging Tommy's head to the side. She heard Oliver say her name but ignored it. Her lips drew back and with a sharp movement, she buried her fangs in Tommy's neck. He let out a sharp cry as her teeth pierced his skin.

Oliver moved in her peripheral vision but he didn't interfere or pull her away. Felicity concentrated on Tommy, on the blood in her mouth and the heavy pulse in his flesh. Her teeth sank deeper but she didn't know what exactly to do to make this different than a regular bite. Then something rose inside of her, something that burned painfully up her spine, through her teeth and out, into Tommy, merging with his bloodstream. It wasn't sexual but she felt almost euphoric - not entirely present in her body but hyperaware of the rush going through her. Like a piece of her soul was flowing out of her. Was that supposed to happen? She had no idea.

She held the bite, probably for too long, until Tommy's heartbeat slowed and he made a pained noise. She withdrew her teeth, licking the bite mark absently before pulling back. She could practically feel his body trying to heal and she pushed her nose under his shoulder and tried to lift it, to get him off the piece of rebar in his abdomen so his body could close the wound. She grunted at Oliver to help her.

Oliver got the hint and grabbed Tommy's arms and pulled him up and off the metal that had impaled him. Tommy screamed in pain as he was lifted up, but once Oliver had him upright, he was still breathing. They stood there for a minute, Tommy shaking but growing stronger by the second as his body knit itself back together. He was going to live. 

Drained and staggering, Felicity remembered where they were. Another aftershock could hit any second. She moved unevenly for the exit, Oliver slinging Tommy's body over his shoulder in a fireman's carry and following her.

She ducked for the shadows as soon as they were outside the building, turning to watch as Laurel shrieked Tommy's name. She and her father rushed over and take Tommy from Oliver, laying him down on the ground, not sparing at second glance at the vigilante. Oliver stepped back, knowing he needed to disappear and simultaneously unable to leave Tommy. 

Laurel was kneeling next to Tommy. She looked up at Oliver - at the vigilante. "Thank you." 

Tommy was coughing and looked completely confused, but there was a loud noise from down the street as another building toppled. Oliver turned away and limped back to Felicity.

Out of sight of the street, he braced himself against the wall and leaned toward her. "Are you all right?"

She nodded her head. Then she turned away from him. Someone was crying, in the next building over. She growled. Oliver followed the direction of her gaze. "Is someone else trapped in there?"

They made their way into the next building, Felicity following the sound until they spotted the woman with her leg trapped under a fallen beam. Oliver got her free and helped the woman climb back out to the safety of the street.

For the next few hours, they made their way block by block, Felicity using her superior hearing to find people stuck in the wreckage, leading Oliver in and then back out safely. All told 38 people would report being rescued by the Hood that night.

Oliver's face was gray from fatigue by the time he stopped, his hand on his ear. He glanced up at the sky. "Digg says it's nearly dawn. We should head back before we're seen." 

Felicity agreed, more for his sake than hers. He had stuffed a few bandages under his suit against the shoulder wound, but she could smell that it was still seeping blood. They turned back toward Verdant and Oliver stumbled. Felicity pressed her body against his legs, steadying him. "I'm okay," Oliver mumbled, but he didn't move right away.

Felicity waited. Oliver turned to look at her, his eyes wide. "Thank you," he whispered. His hand came up to her head, his blue eyes fixed on hers. "Thank you for saving him." 

Then Oliver groaned and pulled himself back to his feet. Together they disappeared down an alley that would take them home.


	8. Hard to Dance with the Devil on Your Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver grapples with the changes to his world after the Undertaking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay. This fic keeps wanting to go to a dark place and I'm not sure what comes after this point. This chapter, at least, is a bit lighter than the last two. (Tommy and Felicity get to snark together, so it can't be all bad, right?)

Oliver stepped forward so that he was an inch away from his best friend's angry face and sneered, "The only reason Laurel was ever with you was so she could feel closer to me." 

Tommy's self-control finally snapped and he lunged at Oliver, who shoved Tommy away and quickly backpedaled. Tommy fell down to the ground, his body already shifting. Oliver made a mental note that he was going to have to resew Tommy's sweat pants together again and then realized the moment of distraction was going to cost him. Tommy had fully changed and he bared his teeth at Oliver, who was now standing in front of a very angry werewolf.

Before he could hoist his bow and use a rappelling arrow to escape, a lithe black shape darted around Oliver and planted herself between him and Tommy. Tommy snarled, but Felicity growled back and Oliver ducked out, hoisting himself up to a nearby tree and out of harm's way. After nearly two months of this it still didn't sit right with him to leave Felicity in jeopardy, but the scratches on his thigh from the last time he had gotten in between the two of them had taught him there was no other choice. 

Oliver watched from his safe perch as the two wolves below him went back and forth. Tommy was angry but he kept stopping short of directly challenging Felicity. She corralled him, keeping him from fleeing into the forest while Tommy snapped and snarled at her. After a few minutes he started to calm down. Felicity finally pressed her teeth firmly into the top of his muzzle and Tommy rolled into a submissive posture. 

Oliver let out the breath he'd been holding. 

Felicity released Tommy and Oliver watched as the two of them circled each other a couple of times, nudging and darting back and forth without the tension of the previous half an hour. Then without a glance at him, they took off running into the darkness of the forest and vanished. Oliver waited for a few minutes, then climbed down to the ground, heading from the clearing they had adapted for this training to the wrecked plane that had been their temporary home on Lian Yu for seven weeks.

The first month after the Undertaking was a huge mess. Felicity may have saved Tommy's life but hundreds of people had died even just from the one earthquake machine. Malcolm Merlyn's body hadn't been found. Oliver's mother and Tommy were both arrested. It took both a federal and SCPD investigation to clear Tommy of any involvement, but Moira Queen was still in jail. 

Tommy had tried to simply go on with his life, going back to Merlyn Global to try and save the company and all the people who worked for it. Felicity tried to talk to him but Tommy was struggling with the changes wrought by what she had done to him. He didn't want to listen to her or to Oliver.

Eventually Tommy and Felicity had gotten into a huge argument while Oliver tried to mediate - failing spectacularly, since stopping fights without using his fists wasn't exactly his strong suit. When Felicity lost her temper and snapped at Tommy that he would have been dead if not for her, Tommy had roared back, "You should have let me die, then!" 

Oliver's chest had constricted so badly he couldn't breathe, and he could tell Felicity felt the same way, but Tommy was so furious by then, he turned and grabbed a heavy cabinet that was against the wall of the Merlyn parlor and pulled. His newly-enhanced strength was enough to topple the thing to the ground, smashing it into a billion pieces, and then Tommy was screaming and transforming. A minute later there was a very startled looking black wolf sitting in a pile of Tommy's shredded clothes and blinking at them.

Finding out Tommy was an alpha wolf had changed things. He needed to learn to control his emotions and his body otherwise any emotional upset could trigger him to shift. And given the state of things in Starling City, it wasn't a good place for Tommy to learn to master his self-control.

That was how the three of them had ended up here, the most remote and private place Oliver knew of to ensure nobody would find out Felicity and Tommy's secret. Of course, Felicity, being Felicity, had brought a satellite hook-up and various pieces of equipment to keep her phone, tablet and laptop working, so it was not nearly as isolated as Oliver might have preferred. Digg was keeping an eye on things back home; Felicity talked to him twice a week to check in. Also the plane Oliver had flown them in was parked safely on the beach, so they could leave any time. 

He checked the plane and Felicity's equipment daily to be sure they were secured, just to be safe.

Oliver puttered around the fire, getting their dinner started, knowing from experience that the two of them would be hungry after their run.   
They had fallen into a routine of physical training as well as what amounted to Oliver doing his best to provoke Tommy through various means, trying to make his friend lose his self-control. Oliver hated doing this. It reminded him of Waller and ARGUS and a period of time he wished he could forget, but his skill at manipulating people's emotions was what Tommy needed from him right now. 

Felicity explained to Tommy the complicated nuances of living as a human being while carrying such a secret. The biggest complication was Laurel. Tommy had reluctantly agreed to Felicity's initial request, just after the quake, to not tell Laurel the truth for at least three months. "Let things settle down first, get used to your new reality," Felicity had said. 

The first question Laurel was going to ask was "How did this happen" and there wasn't really a way to answer that. Laurel also wasn't stupid. She was going to notice the closeness between Tommy and Felicity at some point and put two and two together. Felicity's secret was now in Tommy's hands, and whatever resentment or survivor's guilt Tommy was still carrying around, he wasn't willing to put Felicity in danger either.

Oliver stared at the fire. It didn't sit easily on him, watching Felicity and Tommy growing so close. It shouldn't bother him, he knew that. Felicity being his friend didn't give him any right to feel possessive of her attention or her time. And he was glad she was there for Tommy. He could never repay her for saving Tommy's life given that it was ultimately Oliver's failure that had endangered it in the first place. 

But Tommy was now part of Felicity's life in a way that Oliver would never be able to understand. He didn't like it. 

Noises broke his train of thought and he looked up to see the two animals trotting into the clearing. They separated and Oliver turned his back toward Felicity while Tommy came to a halt and grunted as he turned back into a human. Tommy grabbed the other pair of pants he had, the unripped ones, and pulled them on.

"Better?" Oliver asked.

"Yeah. Thanks."

Despite knowing this was all for Tommy's own good, guilt nagged at him. "Tommy, you know-"

His friend held up a hand. "I know you didn't really mean it, Oliver. You were pushing my buttons. And you're right, Laurel is a big one. I have to get a handle on it."

"You're doing better," Oliver said immediately. "You held it together longer today than ever, and I really had to push you. We're getting there."

Tommy nodded. "I think even Mama Bear agrees."

"I do." Felicity stepped up next to Oliver, redressed in jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. "I still don't get how you know which of us is which when we're shifted," she added, elbowing Oliver.

"Tommy's tail curves to the left," Oliver said immediately. Tommy's eyes widened, then he smirked.

Felicity frowned. "His tail? What does... oh ew!" She wrinkled her nose and slapped his arm. "Gross! Oliver don't talk about stuff like that about Tommy!"

"Hey you've seen him naked nearly as much as me," Oliver pointed out. 

"Yeah but I don't look at... that! That's just creepy! It would be like me saying something to you about Thea's breasts!"

"Felicity!" Oliver yelped, rubbing his hand over his eyes like he could stop the mental image that wanted to spring up there.

"See?" she told him, "that's what I mean!" 

Tommy also looked slightly ill. "Can we stop this discussion before my appetite completely disappears? Because I'm really hungry." 

They all sat down around the fire and ate. Felicity made a face at the military rations but she didn't say anything. He had caught her muttering occasionally about blueberry muffins and ice cream, and especially "real coffee" unlike the powdered version she had been drinking here. 

Oliver reviewed what had happened that day, repeating his encouragement from earlier. Compared to the first couple of weeks on the island, Tommy had improved immensely. He might not be able to fully stop himself from shifting but his control was strong enough to ensure he could at least get himself somewhere private if he started to lose it.

"You're doing great," Felicity concurred. "Which is good since I think after the full moon this week we need to get back home." 

Oliver felt a heaviness settle over him. He knew she was right, but part of him wanted to stay here where things were less complicated. Going back to Starling City meant confronting his failures, figuring out what to do now that his mission had been proven a fool's crusade. 

"Are you sure?" Tommy asked, looking anxious. "I'm still not fully in control of it..."

"Hey if you two want to stay here for another few months and keep training, I won't stop you, but some of us have to get back before we run out of leave and lose our jobs." 

"You're not going to lose your job. My name's on the building, remember?"

She looked away but Oliver was pretty sure she was rolling her eyes at him. "I'm not the only one who's needed back at QC." She picked up her tablet and handed it to him. On it was an article about a company named Stellmoor International, which was targeting Queen Consolidated for a takeover. "Stellmoor is bad news. They've dismembered every company they've taken over. If they succeed, thousands of Queen Consolidated employees would be out of a job." 

He wanted to protest. He knew nothing about running a company the size of QC. He hadn't even finished college. Fighting for his life for five years didn't translate into business administration. But the truth was, there was nobody else. Walter had left QC and his mother was in prison.

Felicity turned to Tommy. "There are news stories starting to circulate in the tabloids that you're in rehab or worse, by the way. Merlyn Global saw another drop in stock prices two days ago before it stabilized." She took her tablet back from Oliver and delivered the killing blow. "Not to mention, Thea's back in Starling all alone, save for her boyfriend."

Oliver's spine stiffened and he knew Tommy was doing the same thing. Her pink lips pursed together and Oliver kind of wanted to throw something at her head for how amused she looked. 

Tommy held up his hands. "Okay, okay, Smoak, we get it. Time to go back and face the music." 

"We'll get through the full moon the night after tomorrow and then head back," Oliver agreed. 

Felicity tilted her head back, her eyes closing. "Oh God, real coffee. Finally!" 

"Steak," Tommy said, almost sighing. "French fries. Beer." 

They both looked at Oliver expectantly. He felt somewhat embarrassed as he admitted, "Ice cream." 

"Ooh, that too," Felicity agreed. Then she wrinkled her nose. "Coffee, steak, fries, beer and ice cream? That would be a terrible meal all together." 

"We can space it out over the first day," Tommy suggested. 

Despite his misgivings, Oliver felt some of his apprehension melt away. Going back home would change things, but at least this time he wasn't going back alone.


	9. Words and deeds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back in Starling City, Felicity struggles to deal with the fallout of turning Tommy and the complications its causing for everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um, sorry? This story is fighting me tooth and nail (heh). I'm hoping it might pick up some momentum with the next chapter, but for now, don't be too hard on Laurel.

Felicity was already tired from a late night in the lair, and that was before her entire day went to hell in a handbasket first thing in the morning.

The night before they had come so close to catching Barton Mathis, but come up short. The asshole he managed to slither away and Detective Lance had gotten arrested, which was patently unfair when he seemed to be the only cop in Starling City who cared about stopping this psycho. On top of that, her undercover stint ended with another concussion and Tommy running into the lair in panic mode because apparently he could sense when Felicity was injured, which was a fun new fact Felicity had not known.

Making Tommy into a werewolf hadn't only turned his world upside down. Felicity was learning all sorts of information that had never turned up in her research or her life with her mother. She had thought biting him was the sum and total of saving his life, but there was a connection between them now that she couldn't ignore. Sure she counted Oliver and Digg as her friends, her _pack_ , but she could avoid them if she needed some space. Tommy, not so much.

It was weird. And uncomfortable. She was used to being alone, except for her mother. All the together time with humans in her different roles in Oliver's life was already making her twitchy without adding Tommy's need for guidance and his newfound protective streak.

Tommy had gotten angry at Oliver for Felicity getting hurt. The two of them had been snarling at each other when she had finally stepped between them, growling a bit herself, and reminded Tommy that neither he or Oliver got to make decisions for her. Tommy had glared, Oliver had looked annoyingly smug, and Felicity had stormed off to go home and try to get at least a couple hours of sleep.

Of course the concussion and the headache and the fact that the Dollmaker was still out there made it nearly impossible to sleep anyway. Moira Queen's trial was about to start, and oh yeah, there was the random woman in black leather running around the Glades taking out bad guys. Oliver was concerned but Felicity couldn't help but kind of cheer this woman on. As long as she didn't interfere in Team Arrow business - and given her propensity for saving Oliver's ass it certainly seemed like she was at least not an enemy - it couldn't hurt to have another vigilante out there, especially a woman kicking ass and fighting for the other women in Starling, right?

All of that plus her new job as Oliver's ridiculously overqualified (and under-experienced, truth be told) assistant and coping with the living embodiment of "bitch from hell" that was Isabel Rochev was taking a toll on Felicity.

And that was before Laurel Lance appeared outside of Oliver's office before Felicity had had her second cup of coffee.

Felicity stood up, fidgeting nervously. "Laurel, um, I mean, Ms. Lance, hi. Mr. Queen didn't tell me you were coming." She silently cursed Oliver for not warning her.

Laurel was staring at her intensely. "He didn't know. I'm not here to see Oliver, I'm here to see you." Felicity felt her back and shoulders tense, her wolf coiling itself protectively. Anger was radiating from Laurel's entire body. Felicity had no idea why until Laurel stepped right to the edge of Felicity's desk and snarled, "I wanted to find out what kind of woman my boyfriend was cheating on me with this time."

"WHAT?" Felicity yelped so loudly she flinched at her own loud voice. She started to laugh, which was probably a bad idea with the murderous look in the other woman's eyes. "What are you talking about, Laurel?"

"Tommy ran out of my place last night and left his phone. I saw the messages about 'getting coffee.' I'm not stupid, no matter what you two think. All those times Tommy was busy or had to leave, it was you. Using your little code."

Felicity wanted to bang her head on something, which would not help her concussion. Laurel was after all partly right. Felicity and Tommy had been using a code phrase about getting coffee to indicate one of them was in need of some time outdoors or if Tommy was having some control issues. It was the safest way to communicate without saying anything that might give away their secret. And in Laurel's defense, a special code with a double meaning probably looked like they were doing something far more pedantic than coping with being a werewolf.

"Look, Laurel, I swear to you, this is not what you're thinking it is. I mean, it is a code but it's not a code for sex. There's no sex. It just means one of us needs to talk, that's all." Tommy had told Laurel that Felicity had helped locate him after the earthquake and they had become friends as a result, but clearly Laurel, the daughter of a cop, had gotten suspicious. "We're just friends. I am not having sex with Tommy." Even saying the words made her physically recoil. Tommy was kin, _blood_ , and everything about the idea of him and her sex even in the same sentence was just wrong.

"Laurel?" Oliver appeared, Digg looming behind him. Oliver's expression was closed and hard. He clearly had overheard at least part of the conversation. Because that was going to make this so much better.

Laurel transferred her angry glare from Felicity to Oliver. "Did you really think nobody was going to figure it out? You promote some random IT girl to become your executive assistant, and suddenly Tommy is sneaking around. Is this some twisted sharing thing you three are doing together? Because that's a new low, even for you two."

"Woah, stop! I am not..." Felicity was shaking with anger as Laurel's meaning hit her full force. She wanted to bare her teeth and snarl. Digg, with his usual calm efficiency, shifted to stand next to her desk, making a human wall between her and Laurel. She appreciated the tiny gesture for what it was - both protecting Laurel from any unexpected consequences of unknowingly pissing off a werewolf, and offering Felicity moral support. 

Felicity flexed her hands into fists and she fought back the instinctive posturing of her wolf. "I am not having sex with Oliver. I'm not having sex with anyone, okay? There's no sex." She waved at the space in between herself and Oliver. "Not here and definitely not with Tommy."

Oliver jumped in before Laurel could reply. "Laurel, you are way out of line here."

"Really? Then why exactly did you promote someone with no administrative experience to be your secretary, Ollie?"

Felicity grimaced at the way Laurel leaned on the nickname, and so did Oliver, but he looked at Felicity for a moment and her breath caught in her throat at the expression on his face before he turned and met Laurel's eyes.

"Felicity is my friend. I trust her."

It was tough to say who was more shocked at that, Felicity for hearing the words, Laurel for what Oliver was saying, or Oliver that he'd said it. Felicity felt a lump forming in her throat.

Oliver stepped closer to Laurel. "I know you've got reasons for not trusting people, Laurel, and I know a lot of that is my fault, but Tommy isn't me. He never has been. And he's not cheating on you. He never has. But if you think something's going on with him, you're not going get answers by coming here and attacking the people who are trying to help him."

Laurel's eyes cut to Felicity uneasily and she huffed and stalked back to the elevators. When the doors had closed, taking her away, Felicity closed her eyes and breathed, willing the wolf in her to relax.

When she opened them again, Digg was still hovering at her elbow. "You all right?"

Oliver was standing directly across the desk from her, his blue eyes watching her closely, his concern plain. "Thank you," she said softly. It meant a lot to her to hear Oliver call her his friend. Sometimes with the demands his mission placed on them, she felt more like a useful tool than a person where he was concerned.

Oliver ducked his head slightly and she realized he was embarrassed. "I'm sorry you're getting dragged into that."

"Kind of dragged myself into it, though," she replied. After all, it was her choice to save Tommy.

"Unfortunately, it's probably not over. Laurel Lance on a mission to get answers isn't going to let up until Tommy tells her everything," Digg observed. All three of them sagged a bit at that thought.

"Let's just try to get through the rest of this morning," Oliver said dryly. He was heading to the courthouse soon for Moira's hearing, and they still had the Dollmaker to catch.

While Oliver was gone, Felicity hacked Mermaiden's servers and did her best to discourage anyone from buying the skin cream in Starling for at least a few days. She monitored the events at the trial online until it was time to go to the Foundry.

She also called Tommy to warn him about Laurel's suspicions. A couple of hours later, Tommy called her back. "Laurel's not answering her cell phone," he said, sounding anxious. "How can I apologize or explain anything when she won't even talk to me?"

A prickle of alarm went up the back of Felicity's neck. She looked at the monitor where she'd had the local news running and knew the fear was justified. "Tommy, don't flip out, but I don't think Laurel's ignoring you."

Tommy arrived in the lair in full panic mode for the second night in a row, just as Oliver was leaving to go after Laurel and her father. They collided at the bottom of the staircase.

Tommy didn't waste time on pleasantries, standing in Oliver's path. "You know where she is? I'm going with you."

"No, you're not." Oliver nearly didn't need the voice changer. Felicity shared a look with Digg. They both knew that there were times that not even they could do anything but step aside and let Oliver do what he wanted. Especially not at a moment like this.

Felicity could feel, beyond her own sense of panic, that Tommy was too terrified to be rational. "It's Laurel, Oliver! Laurel!"

"I know!" There was a world of meaning behind those two words. They faced off for a moment.

Tommy stepped into Oliver's personal space. "Yes, I am, and you can't stop me."

Digg and Felicity winced in unison, neither of them surprised when Oliver's body seemed to relax minutely and then his right arm shot up and clobbered Tommy's face with the bow. Oliver caught Tommy's unconscious body and Digg hustled over to take the hand off as Oliver ran up the stairs without looking back.

Digg hauled Tommy up onto the med table, muttering something about "white boys" under his breath.

The two of them listened in silence as Oliver reached the Dollmaker's location. They heard the thwick noise and a crash, then Lance shouting at Oliver. For a couple of minutes there were indistinct noises of running and fighting before a silence fell. Felicity cracked first, careful to keep her voice low. "Oliver?"

"It's over," he answered immediately. "Laurel and Lance are both okay."

Felicity glanced up at Digg, both of them clearly thinking the same thing. There was something in Oliver's voice that was off but he didn't seem in the mood to elaborate. She sent an anonymous tip to the SCPD and then informed Oliver that the police were on their way.

Oliver signed off the comms and Felicity leaned back in her chair, swiveling to look at Tommy. She knew there was a lot of baggage about Oliver's secret, about the Undertaking, and especially about Laurel between them, and tonight wasn't going to help on top of the argument last night, but she wasn't sure what to do about it.

Digg put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Don't get into it, Felicity."

"Sometimes you're so perceptive it's a bit freaky," she told him.

He cracked a small smile. "I know you probably feel caught in the middle, but this is their beef. Don't make it yours."

Tommy started to groan at that moment. Digg went and grabbed and ice pack and Felicity stood up, putting herself in Tommy's line of sight. She saw when he became fully awake, noting the yellow glint in his eyes and the hint of teeth. She said the first words that Tommy was going to need to hear. "Laurel's safe."

Tommy made a somewhat-inhuman noise. He blinked at her and sat up. "You're-?"

"I'm sure. She's safe. I'll let you know when they're going to reach the police station, you can meet them there."

Tommy clenched his hands into fists and she could feel him fighting for self-control. Digg approached with the ice pack but Felicity took it from him, warning him with a glance to keep away. He looked conflicted about leaving her so close to Tommy, which made her heart skip a beat, even if there wasn't really anything to worry about.

Tommy breathed in and out several times before he looked back up. "I could have found her. I'd be able to track her scent."

"I know. But you could have put her at risk."

"I would never do that," Tommy replied instantly. "It's Laurel. She's…" he closed his eyes, shaking his head. "I don't know how to explain it. It's like she's more than just my girlfriend. She's _part of me_ , somehow."

Shock flooded Felicity. She had read about this, but just stories. She hadn't even thought it was real.

The word came to her from deep within. "She's your mate."

Like things weren't complicated enough.


	10. Maybe I've Always Been More Comfortable in Chaos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity tries to learn more about the mate bond, Oliver finds out Sara's alive, and Laurel shows up at Queen Consolidated for Round 2 (sort of).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, hi again. I think I may have figured out how to get past the current block on this fic and get to the stuff I was actually looking forward to writing? Hopefully. If I'm lucky I can get some momentum going soon and get to the fun parts. ;)

After Oliver returned to the lair and told them the mystery woman had been the one who killed Mathis – which explained Oliver's weirdness over the comms; Felicity knew he was trying not to kill any more, trying to make the Hood into more than a murderer, especially after the earthquake – Felicity went home and dove into research on the other big surprise of the night. 

There were a few places online that had reliable information on werewolves, including a community buried in the dark web. Felicity knew it was secure because she had set it up herself. All the members were verified, but their locations and identities were hidden, even from each other. Technically she knew who each member was, but she had kept no records of that information except in her own head. 

She had never focused much on the parts of the forums that talked about relationships. After Boston, she had been certain she would never try to have another relationship with anyone ever again. She pushed her discomfort and her memories aside, though, and started hunting for details on werewolves and mates in between helping Oliver and Digg try to track down the illegal military weapons flooding the Glades.

There wasn't much, and obviously little documented evidence. But a few people reported that their significant others seemed to be more than just lovers (ugh, she hated that word). It was hard to fall for a person your wolf didn't like, of course, but for a lot of people, the wolf merely acknowledged the spouse or partner as pack or maybe kin. There was acceptance and protectiveness, especially if there were children, but that was it.

A few people, though, had different stories. 

_"I feel torn every time I go out at night. Like, my wolf wants to be out and free but being without him sucks. I wish he could go with me."_

_"I knew right away. It was like a movie or something. One look and I just knew this person was going to be important to me forever. We both felt it."_

_"Her scent is the best thing in the world. Like every favorite smell combined. Nothing quiets both of us down as well as her smell, no matter what else is going on."_

Felicity sat on her couch staring at the wall for a long while. She remembered the moment Oliver came into her office the first time, that feeling of something sliding into place that had been missing. How she trusted him when she had no earthly reason to do so. How his scent had always calmed her.

"No. No no no no no," she mumbled to herself. That didn't make Oliver her mate. Because that would be unthinkable and devastating and stupid and Felicity was many things, but stupid was not one of them. 

She looked down at her stomach, as if she could talk directly to her own wolf. "We're not going there, okay? We have enough problems without convincing ourselves that Mr. Hopelessly Out Of Our League is some sort of destiny." 

Besides, based on what she was reading, a mate bond had to be mutual, and Oliver had been clear that he saw her as his tech support and friend nothing more. Which was fine. She was proud he considered her a friend. He trusted almost nobody, so it was an honor that he included her in that circle of people. 

And she was okay with that, because there was never going to be romance in her life. She would never make that mistake again. 

Tommy was another story. He wasn't speaking to Oliver, but he had called her in a snit because Laurel had insisted on going back to work right after her encounter with the Dollmaker. Tommy tried to get her to go away with him for a couple of days, but Laurel was stubborn and wanted to prove she was perfectly fine despite nearly being suffocated and turned into a creepy-ass corpse doll freak show. 

Felicity was a bit on Laurel's side, although she didn't admit it to Tommy. Getting back to work, to a normal routine, had been important to her after the earthquake. It made her feel in control. 

Tommy unfortunately decided this was a sign that he needed to finally be honest with Laurel. Felicity intended to try to talk to him about the numerous ways that could go catastrophically badly, but she got caught in the Foundry by the revelation that Laurel's sister Sara was the mystery blonde running around Starling City. 

Felicity knew she and Digg knew more about what had happened to Oliver than anyone else, but the broken expression on her face tore at her heart. As frustrated as she was with how little he was willing to share, she also wanted to comfort him, but didn't know how. 

Oliver left to go to the office, then she got a text from Tommy that just said, "Didn't go well. Going out." 

"Want company?" she wrote back.

"Not this time, thanks."

Felicity gave up on the stubborn males around her, went home, and cracked open a bottle of wine which she then proceeded to polish off all by herself. She woke up on the couch the next morning, her glasses askew, neck aching and her head throbbing. 

It wasn't an auspicious start to the day, and when Laurel appeared at Queen Consolidated, Felicity seriously considered just jumping out the window. Though last time she did that, Oliver had been there to catch her before the splat part.

"It's deja vu all over again," Felicity muttered. 

Unlike the other day, though, Laurel's body language was much more subdued. "Felicity, hi."

"Hi?" 

"Um, I was wondering if we could maybe go grab a cup of coffee? Tommy said…" her face twisted a bit before she caught herself, "he said you like coffee a lot." 

So Laurel was still freaking out, clearly. Felicity realized she had no clue exactly what Tommy had told Laurel or what he hadn't told her. She had assumed she would talk to Tommy long before she might ever encounter Laurel and he would fill her in.

But as much as she didn't want to do this, having this conversation here, where Isabel could pop up at any moment, was a very bad idea. "Sure." 

She gathered her coat and purse and pulled her phone out to text Oliver when the elevator dinged, saving her the message. Oliver stepped out, Digg behind him, and both men stopped short at the sight of Laurel. In other circumstances, Felicity would have laughed at the way they looked at Laurel, then their gazes swung in unison to her with nearly identical expressions of concern. 

"We're going to get coffee," Felicity blurted out before Oliver could say whatever he had opened his mouth to say. "I'll be back in a little bit." She took hold of Laurel's arm and steered her into the open elevator, poking hard at the button like it would make the doors close faster. Thankfully neither of her two friends recovered the power of speech before the elevator closed and headed down.

She and Laurel walked to the coffee shop side by side. Felicity racked her brain, trying to find something to fill the silence. "So how are you doing? After the whole kidnapping thing, I mean?" Because she was just Oliver's EA and wouldn't know any of the details of that other than what had been on the news.

"I'm fine. I'm tired of people asking me about it, to be honest." Laurel blew out a breath and her shoulders dipped. "Well, I'm okay about that, but I'm a bit distracted after my talk with Tommy last night." Felicity couldn't quite hide the flinch. "He told you," Laurel said, her voice flat.

"He didn't share any details, just said it didn't go well." That, at least, was the complete truth. 

They arrived at the coffee place and put the conversation on hold until they ordered. Laurel insisted on paying. "Consider it part of the apology."

Felicity sipped her latte and focused with all her might on keeping her mouth shut. She didn't know where this conversation was going and she had to be careful not to spill something Laurel didn't know.

Like that she was a werewolf. That she was the one who had turned Tommy. That Laurel's little sister, who Oliver had been cheating on Laurel with and whom Laurel and her father and the world believed to be dead was in fact very much alive and in Starling. There was a whole list of things Felicity needed to keep silent on right now. 

When they were back outside and away from any listening ears, Laurel turned to face her fully. Felicity was grateful she'd worn heels, but even so, Laurel was several inches taller. 

"I am sorry, Felicity, for what I said the other day. It seemed like the obvious conclusion at the time." 

"It's-" she started to say it was okay but it wasn't, really, so she switched gears. "It's understandable. A torrid affair was a lot more plausible than the truth."

Laurel snorted. "Yeah. My boyfriend sneaking around behind my back is kind of familiar territory. At least you're not related to me." Felicity bit her tongue. _Don't mention Sara, don't mention Sara._ "Sorry, I know you and Oliver are friends. I'm just still trying to get my head around this. I knew Tommy wasn't okay, not since the earthquake. I assumed it was just the quake and his father and everything. But he was keeping something back. I never would have dreamed it was, you know, this."

"What, you didn't go to 'turned into a mythical supernatural creature' immediately?" 

"Strangely enough, no," Laurel smiled slightly, like she appreciated the attempt at humor, so that was something. "Did you? Tommy had to, um, _show me_ before I believed it." 

Felicity recalled Tommy's surprise transformation during their argument. "Yeah, same here." Not entirely true but not entirely a lie either. 

"He said he went to Oliver, when he started changing. And Oliver convinced you to help by doing research online." Felicity exhaled, slowly. Tommy hadn't told Laurel about her. He'd found a plausible way of explaining how Felicity and Oliver might both know about his condition without exposing her secret. The relief was so strong it was palpable, and she had to take a long sip of her coffee to settle her mind. "Do you think you could share the links with me? I'm having some trouble getting my head around this." 

"Sure. For what it's worth, so is Tommy."

"I know. I thought maybe if I learned some more information, I'd know what to do next." 

Dread filled Felicity. "Laurel, are you going to break up with him?" God, what would that do to Tommy? Especially if Laurel really was his mate? The mate bond was for life, if her research was correct. Tommy would never be able to be completely happy with anyone else.

"I don't know. I told him I needed some time to process. I mean, it's obviously not reversible, so what does that mean for the future? And what about kids? I know we're not there yet, but someday we might be and what will this mean? I just need to know more."

Felicity felt a rush of sympathy. Laurel was doing exactly what Felicity would do in this situation. Gathering information so she could understand better. Maybe if she found out more, she'd feel more secure and her and Tommy could work things out. "I'll send you what I found. It's not much. There's a lot more fairy tales and bad fanfic than real information, unfortunately." 

"Thank you. I'm… glad Tommy had you and Oliver to get him through this." There was a hint of hurt in Laurel's voice and Felicity's mouth betrayed her once more.

"It was my idea. Not telling you right away." Crap. Felicity plunged ahead, since it was too late to stop now. "I get it if you're mad at me, but things were so crazy right after the earthquake, and we didn't know much of anything of how Tommy… how this would all work, what it would mean for him. I thought it would be safer for you both for him to wait and learn more before springing it on you. Which is probably not comforting, because he was keeping something important from you and not letting you help him when he was going through all of this, but you were there for everything else, so…" 

Laurel had glared at first, but her expression smoothed out as Felicity rambled. "Felicity, it's okay. I'm not… happy that he didn't tell me but that was Tommy's decision, ultimately." Felicity breathed out a sigh of relief and they started walking back toward QC. "That was when he and Oliver took off on that trip, right? I was mad about that too but I had my new job to start and couldn't just jet off to Tibet or wherever they went." 

And Felicity was back to biting her tongue to keep from speaking. 

"There is one thing I keep wondering about," Laurel said. "Tommy told me he was caught in the rubble at CNRI and it was really bad. He said he was sure he was going to die, and he even blacked out and thought that was it. Then he woke up and the Arrow was carrying him out of the building." Felicity nodded. Tommy had clearly selectively edited his story so that he could tell Laurel the truth without compromising Felicity's safety. But Laurel was thinking about something else. "Do you think it was the Arrow?"

"That saved him?"

"That turned him." 

Felicity could only gape in shock. But Tommy's version of events certainly left that possibility open. "I… don't know." She floundered, trying to follow Laurel's logic and find some way to discourage the other woman from the idea. "I mean, the Hood, or the Arrow, he saved a bunch of people that night."

"Right, but if what happened to Tommy happened to them, they'd probably be keeping that under wraps. I mean, who would believe them? And it would explain some things about the vigilante." 

Oh man. Laurel clearly had taken hold of this theory and wasn't letting go. "I guess. I'm not sure why a guy who could… you know… would bother with the bow and arrow if that was the case." 

"Yeah, maybe."

Before Felicity could say anything more, a man approached them both. It was Digg. "Ladies, you may want to continue this conversation somewhere more private." He inclined his head and Felicity noticed a couple of photographers lingering outside of QC. Digg had placed himself in their sightline but they both had cameras at the ready. 

Felicity groaned. "Great. The tabloids will be full of Oliver Queen's ex and his secretary comparing notes." She stiffened as she realized what she'd just said and who she had said it to.

"Executive assistant," Digg said to Felicity, smiling a little. 

Laurel looked more resigned than anything. "I should get to the office. But thanks, Felicity, for listening. Maybe we can get dinner sometime, you, me and Tommy?" 

Felicity really did not want to say yes. Spending an entire evening watching Tommy and Laurel make googly eyes at each other, knowing Laurel was also the love of Oliver's life, sounded like the opposite of fun. But if the whole mate thing was for real, Laurel was going to be in Tommy's life, and Tommy was now part of her life. Felicity was going to have to make peace with that somehow. "Sure, that sounds great." 

Laurel headed off but Felicity fixed Digg with a glare. "How long were you following us?"

"Oliver sent me down the staircase the second the elevator doors closed."

"We were just getting coffee."

"And you got photographed by some paparazzi." 

Felicity grumbled under her breath and followed him back into the building. It didn't surprise her that Oliver was pacing in his office instead of prepping for the development meeting that was starting in about 4 minutes. He hurried to the elevator the second the doors opened. "Are you okay? What did Laurel want?" Felicity was torn between being annoyed that he thought she couldn't handle Laurel Lance and gratified that he was worried enough about her to care. 

"Tommy told her last night." Felicity polished off her latte and put her coat away while Oliver and Digg digested that information. They'd been too preoccupied with Sara Lance the night before for her to share that news with them. 

"She didn't take it well?" Digg guessed.

"Not great, but I think she's just overwhelmed." She hadn't mentioned the mate thing to Oliver. If Diggle had done so, he hadn't told her, and Felicity was trying to manage the line between being Oliver's EA/partner in fighting crime and what she owed to Tommy. 

"And why did she come to you? Did he tell her about you?" Oliver avoided the key word since they were in the office, but he looked anxious.

"No, he skipped some details. Laurel knows that you know, though, so brace for that." 

He nodded, then shifted his weight. "Felicity, you didn't mention anything about Sara, did you?"

The warmth that had bloomed in her chest at his protectiveness faded immediately. "No. We were a little preoccupied with the other topic." The elevator dinged. "Your 9:30 is here, Mr. Queen." 

She retreated to her desk, aware that Oliver watched her for a moment before he turned to greet the arriving staff, including Isabel, for the meeting.


	11. You can't choose what stays and what fades away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver edges closer to some self-awareness, and Sara Lance's unofficial arrival affects Felicity unexpectedly.

Oliver didn't want to go into this development meeting, although that was nothing new. He hated the endless meetings that came with his new job on principle, and the development team was almost always bad news. 

But he was concerned about Felicity. 

Normally when she called him "Mr. Queen" it was more about teasing him than being respectful. It had popped up in his fantasies a few times, in fact, although he tried very hard not to think about Felicity that way. She was his partner and friend and it was disrespectful to imagine… well, some of the things he was imagining. 

He also had no idea boss/secretary was a thing for him until she started working as his EA and he had to spend hours a day watching her in heels and skirts moving around his desk. He wanted to blame proximity and the fact that he hadn't had sex since McKenna, but deep down he knew that wasn't it.

It seemed that douchebag Ollie Queen was not nearly buried as far in the past as he wished.

Now, though, it was like a light had switched off and she retreated behind her computer and he had to deal with this meeting. Immediately after, he had to go to Iron Heights for a meeting on his mother's case, which gave him the opportunity to grill Diggle.

"Did you know about Tommy?" 

"We haven't even left the parking garage," Digg grumbled. "No, I didn't know he decided to tell Laurel the truth, but it was probably overdue." 

"I just wish he'd talked to me first." 

Digg glanced in the rearview. "Pretty sure discussing his relationship with Laurel isn't high on Tommy's list of things to do these days, since you kept him from helping save her." 

Oliver glared. "You know why I did. He was too unstable. He would have been a liability."

"Because being level headed when it comes to Laurel Lance is what you're known for," Digg said pointedly. 

"This was different," Oliver snapped.

"I know," Digg offered, backing off slightly. "The Dollmaker was too dangerous. There wasn't time to worry about an untrained civilian getting involved."

"I'm sensing a 'but' coming." 

Digg huffed. "But, you have to know, Oliver, that it would hit Tommy right in the most vulnerable spot. He loves her, and he's scared that you do too, and that she might still have feelings for you. We get irrational when we're worried about losing people we love." 

Oliver rubbed his hands over his face. "I can't be with her," he replied, almost automatically. "She's better off with Tommy. He can be what she needs. Even now. I can never do that." 

"That's not a denial." 

He stared out the window. After they had rescued Laurel and Lance from the Dollmaker, Oliver had tracked the two of them back to the police station. He had watched as Tommy appeared and Laurel ran into his arms, crying and holding on for dear life. 

There had been no anger, no jealousy. Just a little sadness, like regret, but that was it. Shouldn't watching the woman who was supposedly the love of his life in the arms of another man bother him? In his entire life he'd never been really jealous of Laurel being with anyone else. Not even Tommy. 

Did that mean something, or was it just another sign of how broken he was now? 

As always, he pulled away from that thought. "I just want to make sure Felicity is okay. She seemed off this morning."

"Yeah, well, having your ex-girlfriend, Tommy's current girlfriend, who accused her of having a polygamous affair with both you and Tommy a few days ago, popping up and inviting her for coffee would rattle anyone."

Oliver focused on the mirror. Digg had a damned good poker face but Oliver knew the man well. He was avoiding something. "Are we sure Tommy didn't compromise Felicity? Did you talk to her at all after I went into the meeting?"

"Not much, but she didn't seem worried. Tommy seems to have told Laurel that he went to you when he realized what was going on with him and you asked Felicity to do some research."

That was plausible. Of course Tommy would go to his best friend for help in that situation, fearing he could be dangerous to Laurel. It explained Felicity's knowledge of the situation without her secret coming out. Oliver guarded her secret as much as his own. 

"I wish Felicity had talked to me," he said, not realizing it was true until the words were out. He hated that she was dealing with this risk on her own. He should have been there for her. Even with everything else going on, he hated that he'd let her down. 

"I know, Oliver, but last night was pretty rough all around. It worked out all right for now, and you've got other things on your mind." They pulled through the gates at Iron Heights as Diggle spoke, just to punctuate his words. 

Oliver forced himself to switch gears yet again. 

*~*~*~*~*

Sara Lance made Felicity jumpy.

Objectively, that made some sense. That there was such a thing as a "League of Assassins" was enough to make anyone alarmed. When Sara had, with a rather obvious desire to horrify Felicity, Diggle and Oliver with her dark nature, told them about a recent assassination mission, any rational person would've taken some steps back and been on guard.

Someone with a secret like Felicity's definitely should have been wary.

The thing was, Felicity spent most of her time with Oliver, who had racked up quite the body count just in the time she had known him, and a Special Forces veteran who had killed plenty of people in the line of duty. They did not make her jumpy.

Sara did. 

And it kept getting worse. It nagged at the edges of her mind, distracting her, but there were other things that needed to be dealt with, and she had to put her unease aside for the moment to focus on the highly dangerous skilled assassins roaming around Starling City and targeting Sara's loved ones. 

"We need to protect the Lances," Oliver said. 

"I can call Tommy, he can look out for Laurel," Felicity offered. It wasn't like Tommy was ever all that far from Laurel anyway.

Sara frowned. "Tommy? No offense, Ollie, but there's no way Tommy Merlyn is going to be capable of handling a member of the League." 

There was a strained moment of silence as Felicity, Oliver and Digg all looked at each other. Felicity could practically see the wheels turning as Oliver considered for a moment telling Sara about Tommy, but he rejected the idea, to her immense relief. "I'll go keep an eye on Laurel," he said instead. 

Felicity tried to find some surprise over Oliver rushing to Gorgeous Laurel's side, but there was none to be had. Tommy was going to love that. She tried not to grimace.

Sara wanted to go find her father, but Oliver ruled that out due to Sara's new injury. Diggle had no relationship with Quentin Lance, which left Felicity to tackle that one. 

"Please don't tell him about me," Sara begged her.

Felicity paused for a moment. "Don't worry. I can keep a secret." Realizing how that might sound, she glanced at Oliver. "Just ask him." She was rewarded with slight smiles from both Oliver and Diggle.

She shot a quick text to Tommy to warn him about Oliver following Laurel around. It was probably not a good idea to interfere, but Oliver showing up hovering over Laurel without any warning wasn't going to do anyone any good either. She skipped the explanation of why Laurel might be in danger, hoping Tommy would assume this was the usual type of bad guy, at least for now. Tommy responded that he was still at the office, so that at least lowered the possibility of Tommy and Oliver getting into a _whose is bigger_ contest over Laurel tonight. 

Unfortunately she wasn't able to persuade Detective Lance to leave town. 

Sara decided to take matters into her own hands, leaving Felicity and Diggle alone in the lair. "What do we do now?"

"Oliver's taking Laurel back to her apartment," Digg reported. 

"Someone has to keep an eye on Sara," Felicity argued. 

"If she's that good, she's gonna know someone is following her." Digg's ego was possibly still a little hurt by Sara's speech, Felicity thought. 

"If a _person_ is following her," Felicity replied, kicking off her shoes.

Digg hesitated, his concern evident. "Felicity, are you sure? Someone could see you."

"Oliver's not the only one who is good at hiding in the shadows," she assured him, unfastening the back of her dress. "You stay here, keep an eye on the police scanner and my searches. I'll tail Detective Lance until one of you comes and finds him." 

They didn't have much choice. Digg kept his back to her as she moved off into a corner and shifted, then he opened the side door. Felicity ran through the back alleys, staying away from any well-lit areas, until she found a decent vantage point outside of Lance's apartment. The idiot man had gone out again, despite her warning about him being in danger. She snarled softly to herself.

Then Sara appeared and Felicity backed off, uneasy with the intense emotions of the father and daughter reunion. She kept the pair in her sight as they headed for a restaurant. Nothing happened and she was starting to get antsy, debating heading back to Verdant to change back and regroup with Oliver and Diggle when the Lances hurried out of the doors like they had to get somewhere fast.

She followed them to the clock tower, wishing she had some way to communicate to Oliver and Diggle what was going on without leaving. There was no way for her to sneak up the stairs of the clock tower without being seen. Even if she could get to a nearby roof, the distance was too far for her to do anything useful except bark. Frustrated, she decided to head back for the lair when movement in another shadow caught her attention.

Several men, dressed in black leather and carrying weapons, slipped along the alleyway, heading for the tower. Instinctively she wanted to attack, to protect her friends, but the man in the lead walked past her and his scent reached her nose, leaving her paralyzed.

That was why Sara made her so uneasy. That scent, the one carried by the members of the League, was one she had sensed before. It was burned into her memory indelibly.

It was impossible to forget the single worst night of her life. The reminder was carved across her back. 

Frozen by fear and overwhelmed by memories, Felicity remained hidden in the shadows for a long time.


	12. Your Careless Notions Have Silenced These Emotions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity tries to figure out her next move. Oliver's stupidity makes it a bit easier. (AKA "The Russia Chapter")

The trip back to the lair and then home was an ordeal. Felicity jumped at every noise, holding her breath whenever anyone came too close or a car seemed to be following hers too closely. She finally reached her own apartment and bolted the door, then stood there with her back against it, trying to breathe.

She wanted to run. Every instinct was telling her to pack a bag and get out. Memories of her last night in Boston flashed in front of her eyes, making her shake. She pushed them back into the box in her mind, trying to stay calm, not let the wolf's instinct overrule her logic.

She settled on packing a go-bag, as Diggle called it. He had nagged her throughout the days before the Undertaking to be ready, just in case she had to get out of the city, or at least out of her apartment, quickly. She arranged important items so they would be ready to grab, and then made herself change into her pajamas and sit on the couch with her laptop and start digging, since she certainly wasn't sleeping any time soon. 

She read every bit of information she could find on hunters or the League of Assassins, but even with her prodigious skills, there didn't seem to be a direct correlation. Other werewolves who had survived encounters with hunters sometimes reported people wearing "old fashioned" clothing – one man described his attacker as looking like a renegade from a Renaissance Fair - but it wasn't universal. What was available on the League was so full of crazy stories it was hard to sort out what was mythology versus what was real. 

No closer to answers, eventually she grew tired enough that every thump from the neighbors or sound of a siren didn't make her tense up and she nodded off a bit before dawn.

The next morning brought a tiny bit of relief. Diggle reported that Sara had left Starling City. Felicity silently added "for now" and a glance at John's face suggested he was thinking the same thing. They both knew that women named Lance had trouble staying away from Oliver.

Still, that bought Felicity some breathing room. Whatever the League's interest was in hunting her kind, they weren't going to be super active in Starling for now. Though if she was running the joint, she certainly would have someone from the League stalking Oliver and Laurel, waiting for Sara to show up again. 

So, great. She had time to figure out how she was going to uproot herself and leave pretty much everyone she knew and start over. The impulse to run off in the middle of the night came back, this time because she knew if she told anyone, she would be deluged with questions, ones she didn't really want to answer. Oliver was the only one who knew anything about the scar on her back and he only knew she had encountered a hunter before. He had no idea what the whole story was, and she had no desire to tell him. She had only told Tommy about hunters in the abstract, to warn him of their existence. He had no idea her knowledge was first-hand.

God, how would he take her leaving? She wouldn't abandon him completely, of course, but he was all she had in terms of dealing with his new life. And he wouldn't be the only one who would react badly. Diggle, Captain Lance, even Laurel would want to know why.

In fact, there was only one person who would probably let her leave without asking a lot of questions, and it was the one person she would most want to beg her to stay. 

He wouldn't, of course. Oliver would be sad, at least she hoped he would, but he wouldn't hold her back. If she told him it had gotten too dangerous, he would accept that and let her go. 

Her heart ached as she sat at her computers in the lair, spending more time watching Oliver and Digg training then looking at her monitors. She didn't want to leave Starling, or the team.

She didn't want to leave Oliver. 

But how could she stay? 

The police scanners were quiet that night, and after the last couple of days, Oliver decided to call it an early night, so Felicity went home and changed into her pajamas and the sat down on the couch with her phone. 

"Hi baby girl! I was just thinking about you!" 

She smiled. "Hi mom." She didn't get a chance to speak for a few minutes as her mother told her all about work and her neighbors and how the cable guy had flirted with her, but she relaxed, listening to Donna just being Donna. 

When her mother's soliloquy ended, she said, "Now, what's going on with you? And don't try to tell me you don't have the blues. You may be a thousand miles away but I'm still your mother." 

The blood bond of werewolf families made it hard to keep secrets, which had frustrated adolescent Felicity beyond words. She sighed. "Yeah, I don't know. I'm thinking maybe it's time to move on from here."

"Did something happen?" Donna's voice was no longer light and bubbly. "You didn't turn anyone else did you? Did that Tom do something?" To try to keep her mother from finding out Tommy's full identity, Felicity had just called him "Tom" when her mother called her just after the Undertaking in full hysterics. Because Felicity had sired Tommy, he was now part of their bloodline, and even from Vegas, Donna had sensed the change happen. She had nearly skinned Felicity alive for doing something that reckless and exposing them in that way. Felicity's argument that she couldn't leave the man to die hadn't done much to mollify her mother. _Rule 3: Don't trust anyone but us._

"No," Felicity said. "There have been a couple close calls, though." 

Donna huffed. "I'm not all that surprised, to be frank, not with that crazy guy in the hood shooting people all over the place." Felicity smiled to herself, imagining Oliver hearing that description of his "crusade." "But you're safe, right, baby?"

"I am. Just a little restless, I guess." 

"Well you can go anywhere and do anything, hon. You could always come home! With all the computers in the casinos nowadays plus the security stuff, I'm sure you could come back here and make a mint." 

Felicity smothered a groan. She loved her mother but living anywhere in the same time zone as Donna Smoak was not a good idea for either of them. "I haven't decided anything yet, just been thinking," she demurred.

They chatted about a few other things. Donna insisted she needed to meet her new step-son, as she jokingly referred to Tommy yet again, although she had so far stopped short of flying up to Starling to do an inspection. That was maybe another reason for Felicity to go – before her mother found out Felicity had made a billionaire part of their family. 

"Let me know what you decide to do, okay? I love you."

"Love you, Mom." She hung up the phone, feeling better. That was why she had to go. If it was only her life in danger here she would stay, but she couldn't place Donna at risk. The instinct she first felt that night out in the desert, a decade ago, to attack anything that threatened her mother, her _blood_ , was impossible to ignore. 

She would leave Starling, but not in the middle of the night. She'd consider her options, make a plan, and handle this like an adult.

She didn't get very far at first, not with the news that Diggle's girlfriend was missing in Russia. In retrospect, she should maybe have stayed in the US, started creating some distance between herself and Oliver and Diggle. But by the time Isabel turned up at the airfield, derailing any hope of making plans for finding Lyla during the flight, it was too late. 

When Oliver deliberately left her alone with Isabel, she was nearly ready to murder him. Or get back on the plane and demand to be flown home. She put it aside, for John's sake. 

She forgave Oliver for leaving her behind a bit after she met Anatoly. He was shorter than she expected, and charming, but her wolf nearly backed up a step in his presence. This man was _dangerous_. Oliver trusted him, but even that did not make her feel any safer. The sooner they could find Lyla and get out of this place, the better.

She was already on edge from worrying about John and trusting John and Lyla's lives to a Russian mobster when she knocked on Oliver's door to leave for the extraction operation to ensure John didn't spend what was left of what would probably be a very short life in the worst prison in the country. Oliver opened the door the second she answered it, like he might for once in his life be on time. Felicity smiled, then Isabel came strutting out of the room. 

"I think she can take the night off, don't you?"

Felicity snarled. Her nails sharpened into claws and her fangs descended enough to cut her tongue. She wanted to leap after Isabel, wanted to flatten her to the ground and tear at her flesh and revel in her screams of agony. 

The only thing that saved her was that Isabel, after throwing the insult at Oliver, had sashayed away without looking back to see Felicity's yellow eyes and transforming features. 

"Felicity…"

She swung to look at him, her vision blurred as she fought to contain her wolf from fully taking over. She registered Oliver's alarm and a mix of other emotions on his face, but she didn't care. 

Again. She'd let this happen to her again. Humiliation. Betrayal.

Anger flared through her, both at Oliver and at herself, for being so stupid. 

It took several deep breaths before she could move. Oliver remained still, watching her. Felicity swallowed and tasted blood in her mouth. She reached up, checking to see if her lip was cut. Oliver reached out, like he was going to brush at something on her face. 

She jerked back, a growl emanating from her throat. She couldn't stand to let him touch her. Isabel's scent was all over him and it drove the rage in her wolf back up. She swiped at her mouth roughly and snapped at him. "It's time." 

She turned, not bothering to see if he followed, taking her phone out of her purse to check her face. 

She was definitely leaving Starling now, but not right away. If she left now, it would look like she was running and she was not going to let anyone, especially Oliver, think she had been chased off by Isabel fucking Rochev.


	13. Keeping Secrets from my Heart and from my Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver's reaction to his conversation with Felicity post-Russia. Tommy fortunately is around to drop some hard truths on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After the reaction to the previous chapter, I didn't want to leave you all hanging too long.

Even though he'd been back home for more than a year now, hot showers were still something of a luxury for Oliver. 

But even for him, four showers in a day and a half was a lot.

After they got rid of the stolen vehicle and had Diggle and Lyla's injuries treated by one of Anatoly's paid doctors, it was nearly dawn. Oliver had showered at the hotel before going to the QC offices for meetings the whole day. Not wanting Felicity anywhere near Isabel, Oliver convinced her to stay at the hotel and rest, and then help Lyla with the cover story. ARGUS had taken all of Lyla's belongings when she had gone missing for security reasons, but she couldn't walk onto the private jet in dirty clothes with no luggage, not with Isabel around. 

They flew out of Moscow that evening. Oliver checked in with Digg and Felicity when he got back to the hotel to be sure everything was in order before going to his room to pack. He realized that after spending the day with Isabel attached to his hip in meetings, her perfume had gotten on his clothes. He had changed into jeans and a shirt after showering again to wash the smell away, resolutely not looking at the still-rumpled bed. 

This morning in Starling he had showered before going into the office, and then a long, tense day and his painful conversation with Felicity had driven him to the foundry to work out. He'd given the others the night off from Arrow activities, so it was just him, training and pushing his body until he was sweaty and exhausted.

Thus, shower number four. 

Usually Oliver felt calm down here, but tonight, the quiet was unnerving. Felicity's empty chair just reminded him of the look on her face earlier. Oliver had expected anger or even jealousy, but the disappointment radiating off of her had been like a physical slap. He was no stranger to disappointing people; virtually everyone in his life had felt that way about him for a number of reasons. He could have handled other emotions, but knowing he had hurt Felicity that way drove Oliver up into the club. He needed a drink, and not Russian vodka. 

Verdant was fairly quiet given that it was a weeknight. Thankfully nobody seemed to pay much attention to him. He ordered a scotch from the bartender and then retreated to the tables on the upper level, over in the corner where he could observe the floor without anyone being able to sneak up behind him. 

The scotch burned down his throat. Oliver forced himself to sip instead of throwing it all back at once. 

The hell of it was he knew that Felicity's "I think you deserve better than her" speech wasn't even a reference to herself. Felicity simply believed in her heart that he deserved to be happy with someone. 

She was wrong, of course. Oliver didn't deserve anything. 

It would be better if she hated him, or at least easier. When she had pulled away from his touch, like he would contaminate her, it had cut through him like a knife. That was Felicity seeing his true self. His mind kept replaying that moment, over and over, like poking at an open wound. But it would be safer for everyone if she stayed in that place, wanting him far away from her.

Logically he knew that was true, but Felicity recoiling from him hurt. He had no idea how to deal with that.

Someone sat down across the table, startling him from his brooding. Then he just stared. Tommy had not sought him out to talk to him for weeks, not since the night the Dollmaker took Laurel. He had been publicly supporting the Queens during the trial but he had avoided being alone with Oliver or talking to him about anything personal. 

"You really fucked up this time, you know." 

His heart plummeted. Tommy wasn't here to talk to him, he was here because of Felicity. "She told you."

"I had to dig a bit but yeah. And seriously, Oliver, what were you thinking? Isabel? The ice bitch trying to take your family's company away?"

Oliver rubbed his face with his hand. "I know. I just, I can't do a relationship, not anymore. You know that. And Isabel isn't the type to want one anyway. It was easy to just fall back into the old me and charm her. I didn't really think beyond that." 

"No kidding," Tommy muttered. He leaned forward. "Look, putting aside any feelings Felicity may or may not have about you, which I will not be discussing at all, but putting any of that stuff aside, Isabel, in addition to trying to steal your family's business, has been a raging bitch from hell to Felicity from day one. And you jump into bed with her? How could you do that to your friend?"

Oliver winced. He hadn't really been aware of just how nasty Isabel had been to Felicity until he saw it first-hand. He also stupidly hadn't realized the extent of the rumors that were flying through QC about him and Felicity. She had never mentioned it, but that had to hurt her feelings, and her pride. Felicity had worked damn hard to get where she was and she'd basically sacrificed her career and her reputation for his sake and he'd never acknowledged that. 

Once again, he was tainting someone by being associated with them. 

"I wasn't thinking about Felicity," he started. Tommy just shot him a look that clearly said "no shit" and Oliver hurried to continue before his friend could speak. "Isabel seemed like she was thawing a little bit. We were talking and drinking and she let the ice princess façade crack for a minute."

"So you saw an opening and exploited it," Tommy concluded, leaning back. There was the disappointed look again. At least with Tommy it wasn't a new experience.

"Yeah. I guess maybe I thought it would get her to relax a little around me, take the edge off of everything?"

"You don't sound really sure of that."

Oliver stared at the amber liquid in his glass. Tommy let the silence stretch and Oliver finally spoke lowly. "She thought I was sleeping with Felicity." He looked up and met Tommy's eyes. "Isabel. She said she and everyone in the company thought Felicity and I were sleeping together, that that was why she got the promotion."

Tommy digested that for a minute, then leaned forward again, his expression incredulous. "Oliver, are you telling me you fucked Isabel to try to prove to her that you're not having an affair with Felicity?"

Oliver didn't speak. He couldn't. Because he hadn't even realized that was why he'd done it until he said it aloud to Tommy. Instead he picked up the glass and tossed back the rest of the Scotch and got up and started to walk away.

Tommy, however, wasn't done. He called at Oliver's retreating back, "Were you trying to convince her or convince yourself?" 

Oliver halted mid-step for just a moment, then kept walking.


	14. You Want a Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity is in danger again, and Oliver realizes two things.

Moira Queen's trial wasn't going well even before the DA got sick due to Vertigo exposure and had to pass the questioning over to the ADA. Logically the fact that Moira had had a brief affair with Malcolm Merlyn shouldn't have impacted the jury that much. People changed over time. Malcolm hadn't started out as a mass-murderer. But the jury and the frothing news media all seemed to feel otherwise. 

Oliver wasn't surprised, exactly, at learning that his mother had had an affair. He had known for a long time that his parents' marriage had not been ideal. He was sure they had loved each other, but he also knew there had been a lot of problems.

That the affair had been with Malcolm threw everyone for a loop, especially Thea. Tommy merely grimaced and said nothing. 

He was sitting with Oliver and Thea during the trial in a show of support. Laurel wasn't in the courtroom; she had texted Oliver an apology, which he told her was unnecessary. She'd been conflicted off the case due to her history with both the Queens and the Merlyns, but she was a new assistant district attorney and already under a lot of pressure in the office due to dating the son of Malcolm Merlyn. She didn't need to make things harder for herself standing alongside the family of a defendant. 

Thea was a wreck after her testimony, and Oliver was wound pretty tight. The abrupt deliberation by the jury seemed like a bad omen, and he was worried about Diggle and the new Vertigo outbreak. Felicity should have called him by now with an update on their partner's condition.

He paced the rotunda of the courthouse, trying to keep his breathing even. His fingers rubbed together and the tension in his shoulders kept growing. There was a low sound from Tommy and Oliver turned.

Tommy was pale. "Oliver-"

The urgency in Tommy's voice made Oliver's anxiety jump another notch. That could only mean one thing. 

Thea looked between them, confused, but Oliver's phone rang from Felicity's number. Was Diggle worse? Had she gotten dosed too? He lifted the phone, bracing himself, but what Oliver heard made the whole world come to a standstill.

The Count.

He had Felicity.

Oliver started forward, rage searing through him, when Thea and Tommy's voices stopped him. Thea looked confused while Tommy... 

Oliver saw his own anger and fear reflected back at him from his best friend's face. "I have to go. Something's come up at the office." He remembered what happened when Laurel had been abducted, Tommy trying to come with him on the mission. They didn't have time for another argument. Felicity's life was at stake and the clock was running. Oliver glanced at his sister, then back at Tommy. "Stay here with Thea. I'll be back as soon as I can."

Tommy's posture was stiff and he looked ready to bolt, but he got the unspoken message and nodded reluctantly. 

Oliver wasn't fully aware of gearing up or driving to Queen Consolidated or anything until he took the last step around the wall and saw Felicity, tied to a chair and shaking. She must not have had the opportunity to shift, not without giving away her secret to this lunatic. Had he ever seen Felicity truly afraid before? 

"Oliver, don't. Not for me."

His heart nearly shattered in his chest, emotion more powerful than anything he'd ever felt clogging his throat. Because Felicity was the most honorable person he'd ever met. Even with two syringes full of Vertigo aimed at her throat -- what would a double dose of pure Vertigo even do to a werewolf? The thought of Felicity changing and driven mad by the drug, the damage she could do, was terrifying in and of itself -- she still told Oliver not to give in to the darkness. 

But then the Count was moving and the darkness was going to take Felicity from him and Oliver reacted. Not just one arrow, not just a kill shot, but three. Plus a straight drop down 30 floors to the street.

He wasn't sorry. He'd destroy himself before he let anyone or anything hurt Felicity. 

She had fallen to the floor as soon as the Count had released his grip. Oliver knelt in front of her. He wanted to pull her into his arms, but he made himself move slowly, afraid to startle her.

Felicity lifted her head to look at him and he had a moment to be relieved there was no sign of yellow in her eyes. "It's all right. You're safe." 

Her gaze went to his arm. "You were shot."

"Hey. It's nothing." That was true. He hadn't even felt the sting of the bullet. 

She took a single, shuddering breath, and then lunged forward, her arm wrapping tightly around his shoulders. Her face pressed against his neck and Oliver did what he had wanted to do for the last hour. He slid his hand around her waist and pulled her body flush against his and just held on. His lips pressed against her hair and he focused on her breath on his skin.

He didn't want to let her go.

He didn't know how long they stayed that way, but the sound of police sirens intruded and Felicity pulled away. He helped her stand up but her prodigious brain was already focused on next steps. "You need to go. I need to talk to the cops. And hack the security cameras and erase the footage because you're all…" she waved in the direction of his hood, which he hadn't bothered to pull on. 

She was right, but he lingered. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah. I mean, there's going to be wine. And ice cream, probably. But I'm not hurt. And you… oh my God, Oliver, the trial! You have to get back!"

She actually put a hand on his shoulder and pushed him and he felt his mouth lift in a small smile. His Felicity was nothing if not resilient. 

Not his. He shouldn't – _couldn't_ – think like that. He could never be with someone like her. He'd drag Felicity down into the darkness if he got too close and he couldn't live with that.

But he wanted it. He pushed the knowledge away, but it sat there in the back of his mind the entire way back to the foundry. 

He let Diggle know Felicity wasn't injured and hurried back to the courthouse. He expected Thea to be screaming at him but instead she just looked worried. "Is she okay? The girl at QC?"

Tommy held up his cell phone before he could ask. "It's all over the news. Count Vertigo took a Queen Consolidated employee hostage and was killed by the Arrow." Oliver tensed, although he was still feeling no remorse about what he had done tonight. Tommy's voice was carefully neutral right now, but in his head, Oliver could hear the echo of Tommy calling him a murderer just a few months ago. 

"You went to check on her, right?" Thea added. 

"Yes. She's shaken up but not hurt." He glanced at Tommy, who merely nodded. He had probably already gathered that for himself, but it couldn't hurt to confirm it. 

Jean appeared, calling them back into the courtroom. The jury was back with a verdict.


	15. A Conversation I Just Can't Have Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second-half of the Count Vertigo evening. Felicity keeps embracing denial like a pint of mint chip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a member of my family is seriously ill which means I have no idea when I will be updating this fic again. Thanks in advance for your patience.

Felicity wasn't surprised when Tommy followed Oliver down into the lair and made a beeline for her. She stood up just in time to be engulfed in a bear hug and let herself, for a moment, lean into him and really _feel_ the last couple of hours. 

"I'm okay," she said into his shoulder.

"Shut up and let me cling," Tommy told her, making her laugh in spite of herself. "Seriously, Lis, you need to be more careful. You're taking too many risks."

Despite telling herself that several times over, Felicity bristled and pulled away. "It's my life, Tommy. I decide what's an acceptable risk, no one else." She glanced over and Diggle and Oliver. "Right?"

"I believe the correct answer to that is yes, ma'am," Digg said, grinning. Oliver just rolled his eyes. 

Felicity decided a change in topics was in order. She turned to Oliver. "Congratulations." Was that the right thing to say in these circumstances. "Is that appropriate?"

Oliver shook his head, sitting down on the med table. "She should've lost. Should've been convicted." Felicity moved closer to him, the other two following her. 

"Did you want her to be?" Diggle asked.

"I expected her to be. The verdict doesn't make sense."

"Especially the sudden turnaround," Tommy put in. 

"Still, your mom must be thrilled. Beyond." Despite Oliver's complicated relationship with his family, she knew he had to be relieved right now. They hadn't talked about it, but Felicity had a feeling somewhere in Oliver's head he had been preparing a plan to break his mother out of jail if she'd been facing the death penalty. 

"It's more like shock, I think. They're processing her now. I just wanted to check in on you." He looked at Diggle, then at her. "And you." 

She fought not to shiver at the concern in his voice. She could still feel the tight grip of his arm around her back, huddled on the floor of his office a couple hours ago. 

They filled Oliver in on using the tainted vaccine to come up with a treatment for everyone who had been exposed to the Vertigo, then he got up to go meet his family. "You guys go home, get rest." He looked over at Tommy. "Are you going to come back with me or…?"

Tommy nodded at Felicity. "I think I'll stick around a bit." She didn't bother arguing. Tommy could clearly sense she wasn't as calm as she was pretending. She was clinging to the blanket ostensibly to keep herself warm. It would make sense for someone who had gone through a case of shock to be cold, but the truth was Oliver's scent was all over the fabric and she wanted it close to her. 

Oliver turned to leave and Felicity blurted out his name. "Oliver?"

He turned back.

"I, uh, I just… wanted to say thank you." 

"Yeah." 

"And I'm sorry."

His brow furrowed and he stepped closer. "For what?"

"I got myself into trouble again." She avoided looking back at Tommy, who had moved away toward her computers to provide the illusion of privacy. "And you killed him. You killed again," Oliver's eyes cut to Tommy. Felicity had witnessed them arguing back on Lian Yu about Oliver's methods. She knew Oliver was trying to do things differently, to be better. She had forced him to step back from that with her own recklessness. "And I am sorry that I was the one who put you into a position where you had to make that kind of choice-"

He stopped the flow of words, moving into her space and reaching for her hand. "Felicity, he had you and he was going to hurt you." Her fingers wrapped around his and she breathed in his scent, so much stronger than the blanket, and felt calm for the first time all night. "There was no choice to make." 

He kept his gaze trained on her until she nodded in understanding. Only then did he look back at Tommy briefly before returning to her. 

They stared at each other. It seemed like Oliver started to lean toward her for a moment, but he pulled away, bringing her back to reality. What had happened back at QC was a result of shock and fear. Nothing more. 

Oliver left and she forced herself to turn around and face Tommy. 

He waited until the door closed at the top of the stairs to say, "He's right, you know. It's not your fault." 

"Maybe, but I should've been more careful. Or fought back. There just wasn't time."

"You couldn't risk that psycho finding out about us, Lis. And I doubt anyone will be sorry he's dead." It was a grim thought, but also the truth. "So, Laurel said to tell you she's glad you're okay and that there's a glass of wine waiting for you whenever you want it. That's a direct quote."

Felicity sighed. "I appreciate it, Tommy, but I don't think I can handle that tonight."

"Yeah I figured. I was thinking comfort food and then a run? Or vice versa?"

She was tired and hungry but the thought of shaking off this night and freedom to run in the fresh air made her wolf stir in longing. "Run first, then ice cream."

"Deal." Tommy grabbed her coat and held it up for her. "Then I need to ask you something about Thea."


End file.
